the shock and awe life

My default setting is unconventional. It’s an internal motor that drives me, sometimes by stealth. Often cruising along in first gear, an external trigger can kick it up a few notches.

I suspect many don’t see me as unconventional. It doesn’t manifest in what I wear and my appearance could be described as conservative (although I have a penchant for the dramatic which translates into interesting coats and boots).

I’ve always been a bit of a rebel, on the quiet. I tried to fit in but ultimately there comes a day when you can’t deny who you are.

I remember my Mum once telling me I was too unconventional, as though it was a bad thing. (I’d just announced that, should anything happen to me, I didn’t want a funeral, simply burn me and scatter the ashes). I could be a source of frustration to my Mum who was a traditionalist. I was also seen as unpredictable — who knew what I might say? Occasionally I was excluded from family events because, I think, my Mum didn’t want to shatter the illusion of my normality.

It took me a long time to realise that being unconventional was simply who I was. I naturally challenge the conventional, the traditional, the usual ways of doing things. I really can’t help it. I feel it rising from my gut, becoming more insistent until I give it a voice.

Truth be told, I love being unconventional. I love to shock the hell out of people too with the unexpected. People think they have you pegged and have the measure of you, but then you let slip something out of left field.

I’ve been described as eccentric — I am outside the circle. I find life on the edges fascinating.

I don’t want to belong, be confined, restricted or contained.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction ~ Newton’s Third Law

The more we are prevented from being who we are, the more we rebel, the more we compensate, the more we fall back on to our unconventional setting.

Like anyone, allowed the room to simply be, we flourish. Being unconventional becomes a gift. We’re innovators, provocateurs searching out alternatives, new solutions, creative answers. Stifle that and you’ll likely have a mutiny on your hands. Harness it and tap into thinking that could propel you to, as yet, unknown destinations.

I’ve learned to embrace my quirkiness, my unconventional aspect. It is who I am. It’s me at my best and my most alive.