It started with a wi-fi password. My work computer had never been connected to the home network and I wanted to test something mundane on a rainy Sunday afternoon. The last place I remember putting the booklet with password was in a desk drawer so without fanfare or expectation I open up said drawer to discover a field mouse chilling in the darkness.

Surprised by the sudden light it bolts down to the second drawer. I take a moment and reflect that yes, this really happened and grab a plastic bag while trying to push the dog back. The mouse jumps down from the middle drawer when I open it — ah ha! I’ve got it cornered in the lowest drawer.

I pull it open, and the fucker’s stuck amongst old headphones, plugs, papers and mouse droppings. I make a grab for it’s torso like lightning it’s up the drawer and vanished.

Goddamn! Shit! I call the wife and let her know now there was a reason the cat was traipsing in and on the desk last night and this morning, shove the dog in the bedroom grab a flashlight and look amongst piles of drawers and CDs and papers and cables along the floor — nothing.

The Mrs comes home with a late lunch of poutine and other things. We examine the mayhem, and sit unable to find our newfound guest.

Not five minutes later the rodent is behind the television squeezing itself into small corners, hiding from flashlights from brooms. We chase it into the bathroom behind the litter box into the mud closet and boom — it’s gone. Again. Like a corporeal ghost.

Sweating, frustrated, my cheese curds have cooled. We wait for the mother-in-law to deliver a toxic inhumane trap. The conflict between my vegetarianism, my loathing of creatures suffering is mitigated by this ancestor of a plague carrier. I clean out it’s turds, and wait…