3G means Good Girls Going… WILD
Attention, Focus & Integrity comes with anger….
My name is Christine and this is not my name. Everything that I have been so far was given to me. My name, my jobs, my identity, and even my thoughts and feelings. And I let this happen. Christine is a Box. A good girl box.
It took me 10 years to disidentify from that box because I was so consumed by it and what I know now is, that I have this box but I am not it.
Inside these walls is a woman who can ride a dragon and sometimes speaks as if she`s it! This is one of these moments.
I am angry! And here is what I want to say:
A long time ago in my mother’s belly I decided to suck out my energy as a survival strategy…just making a black hole and falling into it, gone, imploded, depleted my anger, my life energy…just going back where I came from. Like an undertow!
The other way would have been an explosion, burning stuff to the ground, my pure anger and aliveness going deep into my root chakra and sacrum. BOOM! Call it as you like. The I AM HERE! Movement!
Maybe it would have ripped off my mother’s uterus, maybe I would have put us both in a dying state, not just me. I swallowed the water and put myself at risk of almost dying in the uterus because it got too narrow for me. I took care of my mum and it has been like this ever since. And in the end, doctors put a needle in the waterbag and I came by force through the information of a vein drip with anger that was not mine. I depleted my anger so others can have it. This is a consequence.
I am holding space for others to evolve for the sake of my own transformation. I either destroy the space that doesn´t serve me and destroy myself with it or I go to the spaces that serve me and therefore everybody else by being fully present with me, in my body, my space. This only happens if I am angry enough to hold my space.
As I know now I didn`t want to come because this is not my culture. And I came anyway. So what is really my job?
To feel angry.
Maybe later on I would have been in prison faster than I could talk or put my parents in jail instead of me due to laws…maybe the way would have been to die before I was even born…it doesn`t matter.
The truth is that I depleted myself from my own evolution as my mother did by giving her power away just like her mum before her and so on and so on.
My being was already too big to handle for my parents as it is now still the case again and again for so many kids that I see in school every day.
The school system is so outdated that the walls of the building scream out of antagony.
And the so-called adults put more boxes and layers and emotions on them as if it is their job to take care of them.
Twistedness!
It is not your job to take care of the mess other people create.
It is not your job to take care of your parents, your teachers, or your bosses by doing their jobs for them.
You came here to create spaces that have not been there yet.
Don`t invest in dying spaces.
School is here to interrupt play and take you off of your center, kill your authority and make you zombies for modern culture companies.
And it is not the time to fix this anymore. Kids have ADHS and autism and invented all kinds of other strategies to not have to listen to you and escape the tasks that were not theirs in the first place.
It is time to burn the school system to the ground so new seeds can be planted.
And every time so many reasons for why that is and how we can fix it and what needs to be done.
Bullshit!
This is fear of feeling and seeing what the responsibility actually is and taking it! This is the fear of dying.
And all the pharmacists and scientists who value controlling germs, finding new treatments, etc. That is not all!
I was a scientist, studying for 6 years how to kill your creativity and dissecting everything including me. First my energetic body, than my physical body, then my emotional body not to mention my archetypal body which I let go of a long time ago! Science for me is killing live not supporting it.
I came for healing, transformation, and evolution.
And I found death, zombieland, rigidity.
I am so bored with this. And I played along because I wanted intimacy.
So of course there is the question that I hear from my generation a lot:
What`s the point?
The point is at least for now to feel angry! Be pissed about what happened to you. Grieve the decisions you made and the responsibility you didn`t take. Talk about it.
Make it MATTER again.Come out of the black hole. Stop playing the ‘game interrupted’.
Bring it into a form whatever that is. Let them be pissed that you complain and speak and talk about it even if you know better that it is a victim story because you already analyzed everything that happened around you and have been here before.
Don`t let yourself be taken into discussion or who is right. Let them shit in their pants instead of yours. You already skipped your evolution for their sake. Stop that right now! Take back your authority with your anger and speak, burst, let it out.
Side note: I don´t make advertisements for destroying things. There are three rules: Don`t hurt yourself. Don`t hurt others and Don`t end up in jail. Do you agree?
If you have a yes continue reading.
Why these rules? Because you are needed outside of prison. You are already living in one which is called modern culture. You don`t need more walls around you!Your parents, your teachers, and your bosses might still live in your head. Tell them what you want!Tell them what you need! Tell them to shut the fuck up if they are overriding your boundaries again even in your head!
This is what you can practice.
AND here will be consequences.
I gave up my puberty for the authorities that I created and yes this phase now might be coming back and they will complain about it. So what!It is your evolution. Their time is over. They had their chance to do their job. It is over!You don`t need to take care of every fucking undone job around you!They might have given you these jobs when you were too young to stand your ground or needed them to survive but now you have a grown-up body and a hack of an alert soul and mind. So GO! Say stop! Yes! or No!
I am angry because I didn`t come here to do your jobs. In my mother’s belly, I made the decision to die and not be born because I already knew the culture I would be born into. They made me come anyway and I didn`t stop the process. Instead, I became a black hole.
What helps me to come out of that is feeling angry. Make new decisions and follow them. No one tells me what to do when to do it or how to do it. Where did this entitlement come from that on the other hand is held against me?
Because I came here with an already new culture embedded in my genes.
I am here. I didn´t want to but I am and now you get fucked by facing your own mirror!
Yes, I am complaining, yes I shit in your space, yes I deny working for you, yes I feel entitled because this is what happens when so-called adults that just live in their parent ego states and not really being here shit in your space, complaining to you about everything, make you the therapist for themselves when you are just a child and feeling entitled all the time to tell you what you are, what you need to do and so on…
And I will be a conscious asshole with what I have to say so you can wake the fuck up. This upside-down thing is over. I am here for evolution, not for creating dead spaces all over again. I am here for children to evolve and keep their potential and draw it out.
Modern culture kills aliveness in every one of us. This is stopping now!
My proposal: Visit my website and sign up for my newsletter: https://www.christineploschenz.org/
And:
I offer 4 weeks series of rage club and I invite you to be part of it because your dragon has something to say that should be heard.
Thank you for reading this!
