Another Story about Death

Is Death a Friend or an Enemy?

Devastation, deep sadness, feeling disconnected, shutting down — depressed, an incomprehension of the death of a loved one, or surprisingly euphoric experiencing a near-death experience yourself: Facing death can be an extremely life-changing experience. Witnessing war, innocent people leaving their bodies, individuals dying of old age, or receiving the diagnosis “next week might be too late” moves us profoundly.

Is death your enemy? Some say so. Others act as if they are looking forward to “life after death,” as if death were the doorway to heaven one must simply wait for. But in reality, these are ideas about something that nobody truly knows. Concepts, hopes, visions, near-death experiences — bullshit or nothing? What do we really know?

Every day, countless people die in wars, as ignorant humans kill humans. Irresponsibility, injustice, discrimination, hatred, and ignorance prevail. Half a year ago, a young man died unexpectedly. His mom says he was stressed out applying for a “proper” job and vomited, then experienced an epileptic seizure, apparently for the first time in his life. His heart stopped. By the time the emergency doctor arrived ten minutes later, it was too late. His brain had ceased “working” — no longer functioning, shut down.

His brother had died mysteriously thirteen years earlier at a very young age during a vacation in Israel. Much later, they said it was a drug accident.

It breaks your heart to witness beautiful people suffering and dying so young. You want answers. Why? It’s not “okay.” Is it Karma? How can this happen? What do we need to change in this society? How? There is no justice in this world, only the naked truth.

The experience of losing two of your children can be devastating. Those “left behind” feel not only sad but also hopeless, disillusioned, broken, and devastated. How can you accept the death of a beautiful young soul? How can you let go? How do you cope? What is it that we don’t understand? What’s the reason? What do I still need to learn? How can I ever get over this and see the light again? Anger, sadness, hopelessness, depression can kill people while they are still alive.

Some say it would be egotistical, drowning in self-pity, mourning because you no longer have your loved ones around you. They believe that grief centers solely on one’s own emotions and needs, disregarding the broader context of loss and the natural human response to it, disrespecting Karma.

Arguments and distinctions don’t help. Everybody needs to find their way to cope. Some neglect, some distract, some deny or sweet-talk the fact, imagining the lost one in heaven to feel less pain. Some get stuck in anger, repress it, don’t talk, shut down, or escape into work or “good deeds” to avoid feeling the deep pain of sadness. Some never stop mourning and become detached from here and now, stuck in memories and suffering. Some digest slowly, feel the pure feeling of sadness, and cry the tears when they come until maybe, someday, they become less. Some cope by expressing the sadness through writing and singing a song for the loved one at the funeral.

Is death your enemy?

I don’t know. What do you believe? I believe you can’t kill energy; you can only transform it. You never step into the same river twice. Every experience changes us — time does. And at some point, the river ends in the ocean. Does it end? Is it dead? Or is it the beginning of another circle?

Living next to the ocean feels like a blessing — peaceful and yet still very much alive…