From Low Drama to High Drama
I was hurting and I did not know why I was hurting. I read the message again and again and again. The hurt was there mixing inside of me.
My Good Girl Box was trying to make sense of it in silence and being very careful not to do something wrong:
“What am I feeling?”
“What is going on?”
“Do I say something?”
“It is better to stay quiet than to make a mistake and talk from the wrong place”
The voices kept on going while the feelings and emotions kept on building up inside of me. The censorship was creating even more tension and the battlefield was set.
“Are you available for a listening space?”, I asked. The yes came as a relief and the possibility to try something new. “Ok, I am going to speak as it is, without censoring the words or the feelings.”
At first there was an emotional fear of giving words to my inner reality, the thick layer of right and wrong, what is appropriate and what is not was holding me back and the reality was not present, if the reality is not here, if I am distanced from what is happening how can I get to see what is actually going on? How can I transform? How can I get to the gold?
And then a shift comes and the flow kicks in, the words start to unfold as the anger grows, the mind becomes less and less present, the survival strategy too and I enter my Underworld. I am cursing, I am accusing, I am complaining, I can feel the ecstasy and at some point, when the friction of the ecstasy becomes unbearable there is a turning point, sadness kicks in and I see the pain behind the hatred.
It was not about the message, not even about the person that wrote the message. It was about me, it is about me and I was projecting something onto this person. As soon as I allowed myself to go into that place the glue that was holding together the situation from the present and the one from the past dissolved, and I could almost hear the sound it makes, blop!, they are no longer enmeshed, energetically, emotionally.
I was no longer thinking about the situation, the message, the person. The energetic strings were gone so was the reason.
Low drama was over. What about now?
I put my discovery in a safe place to take care of it some other time and I went and checked what was it that I really felt about the situation.
One feeling after the other, with its energetic signature came. I saw my sadness, my anger and my fear. I allowed them to speak.
And then I got a hold of the three powers (by the way, they are super):
- make questions
- declare
- choose
And so I started asking myself questions and my feelings kept on answering them, I navigated my fear and from that I declared something that I did not want to do and that it was not ok for me to do. After that I chose to ask questions, to declare some other things, to ask some more questions, to make more choices.
And I started feeling my joy more and more present, I was Empowered and I was moving from Low Drama to High Drama and it was fun! It was amazingly fun to explore the possibilities, the information that was coming from the feelings, checking where the information was coming from, declaring like a Witch and creating something completely different for and from myself. It was EXTRAORDINARY to surf that space, to consciously choose to serve a Purpose while navigating my inner world.
While sharing this I was brought to the attention that I had just navigated through the 3 Worlds Thoughtmap. In this map the Underworld is located between the Upperworld and the Middleworld which means that to go to the Upperworld where the Bright Principles are, you have to move from the Middleworld to the Underworld, it is not possible to skip it, you just have to go through it. And this is what happened to me. I faced my resentment, my superiority, I entered it consciously, and this made something else available to me.
By facing it, the identification with what was happening stopped, the gap was created for me to see other possibilities and from there I entered Creation mode, by being Clarity and Transformation.
Denying the Underworld, the Shadow part of yourself it is not making it go away. On the contrary, it feeds it more and more. By choosing to bypass your survival strategies you are not being a “good” person, you are just acting from your survival strategies.
Are you really working from your Upperworld? Think twice.
Navigating the 3 worlds is a mining process, where you go through a burning down process of who you think you are. Being initiated to your Underworld and than start to walk through it by choice and in a conscious way, it is to put yourself through the grinder and come out on the other side with a new shape, a new set of eyes. Your senses transform, you transform, and life around you organizes itself to be in Integrity to your new shape.
Your Underworld is the key.
