THE JUICINESS OF ANGER
I was nice. I smiled. “Sure, no problem” was my standard answer, sometimes not even thinking and noticing how much it was a problem, though! Over the time I learned to ignore this gut feeling, this sensation in my womb that something isn´t aligned with me.
The truth is that I carry a volcano inside of me. If the volcano would explode it could destroy megacities.
What I love about connecting consciously to my volcano is, that I can access this huge amount of energy — and use it for creation.
I interviewed many women about their relationship to anger. Mostly the answers were: “I am not angry. I am fine.”
Neutrally, they were smiling at me.
What is your answer? How is your relationship to anger? What are you angry about?
Some women were shocked when I shared, that I am angry. Shocked, with that look of: “How can you say that? Out loud? As a women?”
Some negotiated with me: “I might be irritated every now and then, but I am never angry.” One even told me: “Yes, I am angry, I am very angry, but I learned ever since childhood that a girl should not be angry”.
A bit dis-pleased works, anger doesn´t.
On my path of re-claiming my anger, I found out that some women, including me, have the strategy to hide their anger behind sadness. I felt safer to express that I am sad, for example, if you are late, than actually saying that it makes me angry.
Explosion and implosion
“But anger is destructive”
I hear you. And I see it. I see it everywhere. In power struggles among couples, in shutting a door loudly, angry looks from stressed mothers to their children, disapproving comments among friends if they have different opinions on a topic, heated discussions, blowing horns in traffic jams, wars in the world and any kind of aggressive behavior.
In my instance an implosion is happening: I oftentimes direct anger against myself, my body bends painfully under the pressure I put on myself, a judgmental voice is hammering in my head. Inward directed anger might then explode in an outward form of expressing rage. Doors slamming loudly is a valve I misused.
Accessing the juiciness of my anger by lowering the numbness bar
My first Rage Club was life-changing.
We received the invitation, to drop our fake, polite smiles during the session. For the first time I allowed myself to let go of my smile, a smile I did not even notice before that I wore — as a mask. It was as liberating as escaping a prison. This applies until today. If I only smile when it’s genuine, I relax, something opens up, I connect on a deeper level.
A smile weakens clarity.
Without a smiley face my clarity can land in the space and I create the results I want.
Moreover, this also serves as a true energy saver. Only until I dropped the mask of politeness I noticed how much of my battery was leaking on a constant level for the fake smile.
In Rage Clubs we learn to access anger in a safe environment and practice to let the sounds out, to use our voice, to say YES or NO! This is necessary to set and hold boundaries, make decisions and much more.
By going through layers of my unconscious rage, I acquired the skill to connect to my conscious anger, which contains valuable information about my real Wants. It is a precious feeling to navigate through life, serving as the source of creation.
The Juiciness
Who would you be if you would play full out?
My — and Your RAGE is a superpower. It carries the seeds of aliveness, it lights you up, it sets you on fire for what you care about.
My anger helps me to prioritize my day, my schedule, my vision.
To access the conscious part of my anger, I go into- THE GAP, I pause for a moment, I feel all my 5 Bodies and I shift identity, in order to extract the information my anger contains. My anger tells me: this does not work, what else would work then?
At that point answers and possibilities can shower down on me. I am on fire about my next steps, new ideas, new approaches.
One experiment I recommend is:
Practice to express your “Wants” by saying out loud what you WANT, each day for five minutes. It goes like this:
“I want a hug. I want to access the juiciness of my anger…….I want ……”
Will you try the experiment and let me know how it is going for you?
I want to provide a safe space for women to connect with their anger and feel the Aliveness of it.
About what are you on fire? What are you taking a stand for?
Raise your anger — and get in touch: alicebelz@gmx.de
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