#NGMThoughts 24: Calling In vs. Call Out

Often we hear that people need to be “called out” for their shitty behaviour, but to what end? So they can be shamed? So that you can feel righteous? Indignant?

We need to work on calling people in.

I love the Seth Godin quip, “people like us, do things like this”.

The other day I caught up with a friend that I hadn’t seen in a while. He recounted a story I’d forgotten from one of the first times he’d met me. The two of us and a mutual friend were walking down the street when this new acquaintance colloquially dropped the n-word. Apparently, all I said was “you should really try not to say that”. It’s been two years that we’ve known each other and he’s not forgotten that. It was the kindest invitation to be his best self that he’s ever received.

People like us (anti-racists, feminists, good people — allies), do things like this (call people in).

Thoughts of a Next Gen Man…

• Jake on behalf of NGM

If you appreciated this thought, please support Next Gen Men on Patreon. For as little as $2 we can continue to engage, educate, and empower men and boys in conversations around gender.

Check out our programs for youth, adults, and workplaces, subscribe to our newsletter, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, or send us a message!