April 2018 — Slowly put things back in order. | Review Notes
This is a tough month for me.
All human have fears, it is how you manage it makes difference.
I always plan to start to write monthly review early at the month, so the article you are looking at actually across nearly a whole month to produce, though 90% of it actually written in the last day.
I experience a huge emotion up and down within this month which I can not even imagine myself. Seems there is really a god playing with me with my emotions, of course, hope things will get better soon. Overall. I can feel I am getting better day by day, but still, every morning the second I wake up, the sense of lost always hit me right at my heart, and again, I nearly cannot breathe until I get up and open windows. Sometimes I choose to close my eyes again and want to escape from reality and back to sleep again. But actually, I know from deep of my heart that I still have to wake up in the end and face the reality. And usually, it feels even worse if I close my eyes and sleep for another hour and then get up. Since I hate getting up late and this will add more sense of guilt that I was wasting time.
Anyway, I am trying to get back to who I really am, and try to find out strength from my own rather than rely on anyone else. Also, try not to stand everything by myself and seek help from friends and people around me so that I can tell someone at least when I am really not feeling well.
Work
Internship
Only focus on one internship makes me feel good since I get two more days more week free that I can manage other things properly. To be honest, having the internship in AGW Group is the best experience I have until now. Both working environment and the comfortable feeling between co-works are extremely nice and smooth. Also, I learned a lot on data analytics and reporting skills which I thought I would not touch.
Also since my supervisor went to the year off for two weeks and I am during final these days, my working schedule becomes more flexible and this is the first time that I have plenty of time that I can control. I try to put myself into nature, begin to spend time with friends just hanging around, sit and talk, which I would never do before. Plus seems spring finally comes, warm wether and sunshine do bring some positive feelings on me.
Hi China Club
Things works well. Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn are running on regular and consistently base. We will also responsible for the World Youth Development Forum in China on September.
There are some problems inside team which I did not noticed before. Luckily we had a chance to talk it through. I dare to ask straightly and my members trusted me so they tell me few things they are not satisfied with what I’ve done. This helped a lot for improve my personal working style and communication skills. And again, I feel strong passion to be a good leader that can bring team together.
Life
One highlight is Harry Potter Broadway which is super cool!!!!! Super amazing. It is really like bringing magic to the real world! The changing of different scenes are smooth and careful without any mistakes. Actors and actress are trained to use British accent which is the same as the original movie. The lights, flames, and everything that happened inside of movie are brought right in front of the audience. And it is really fantastic! I finally bought a souvenir bottle that I’ve been waiting for very long time though I think it will only be put on my desk without being used.
Swimming becomes a must do for me nearly every day or at least per two days. I find swimming can be a great way for me to
Pause my spinning brain for an hour and only focus on the breath in and out.
I am a person always multi-tasking, only focusing on one is nearly impossible for me. Though I know better put things in order and try to solve one by one will leads to better results, I can not find a good to transform into it. It turns out that I can only focus on the breath when swimming or I will chock with water. So hopefully I can have some insights on this and help myself to focus more other things rather than swimming.
What I wrote
What is your Soul Color?
Why people think you are Blue when you identify yourself as Yellow
medium.com
And I begin to a project called Daily Digest where I write everyday reflection around 300 words for a month and see what changes will I make. Here is the first one and you can find my other episodes through personal profile.
What I am planning
Gap Year
I officially decided that I am going to take a gap year. What makes me decide is I seriously received 15K dollars Enlight China Fellowship which I never though it will be real. And summer, I will be at Bulgaria for B2B sales trainee with Out2Bound.
Will make a comprehensive but flexible plan for the year later after final. I must spend a whole day or even several days calmly plan it. It will be the most important year in my life, because this will be the only year that I do not have much control on it. Totally opposite with what I used to do before.
There definitely will be many struggle moments. I am afraid of those to be honest, but after all, I am also looking forward in my deep heart.
Also, I begin to be a freelancer translator and writer, will try my best to gain some experience and money for gap year. Hope I won’t be stressed out by paper work.
Monthly Soul Sentence.
To the mind that still, the whole universe surrender.
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