True Colors Seep Through
How we see really others IS how we treat them.
Remember the old favorite game with four openmouthed hippos that snap as fast as they can, to gobble up the white marbles in the game? The winner is the one with the most marbles.
Recently, I watched a small child learn to play the classic board game. He was still learning the rules of what to do with the multicolored hippos. Excited to learn something new, he practiced moving the lever for his hippo. With each move, he was quite pleased with his new found talent and kept at it for a while. Everyone praised him for his skill so he continued to practice. Within a few minutes, he paused to look at the small dog that sat nearby. The dog stared at the board and then at him. They just stared at each other for a minute. He stopped wiggling the lever for his hippo. Every so gently, he reached out his fingers, took one of his small white marbles and shared it just within the reach of the dog’s wet nose. A stream of giggles rang out when the gift was met with swift finger-lickin and love.
Who wins all the marbles? None of us play the game like he did. We grab up the marbles and wave triumphantly at having the most marbles. The point of the game continues to be that we gobble up as many marbles as we can, in competition with our neighbor. Our marbles are big shiny cars, fancy shoes and purses and more. We rarely share with those who cannot play the game. If we do share anything, we do not let it go quietly. We ‘share’ on social media to move the applause meter on a larger scale. How many of us give without recognition?
Sympathy elicits pity while empathy implies mutual respect.
When we give, do we give because of sympathy or empathy? No, they are not the same. Sympathy elicits pity while empathy implies mutual respect. That child looked at the small dog with empathy. It was another creature, his size. He did not toss the marble at him or to the floor. He handed the marble over to the dog’s nose, where it could be easily accessed.
So it goes with storytelling. The same picture can be drawn with genuine compassion, (“This must be a difficult time for the family.”) or shameful voyeurism (“Oh, look at those poor, pathetic people.”). Over the past year, the geographic location of where the pandemic hit the hardest has varied the way the news has been presented. If you listen closely to the language and the images, there is a distinct difference in air. The French and the Italians have had the world mourn with them while the Indian wave has been told with shades of desperation. Loss is universal and so is grief. How we tell the story really reflects what we think of ourselves in relation to others.
If we think of the other colorful hippos on our game board as less fortunate, rather than human, it will show.
