It’s Been 10 Years Since I Graduated High School and I Feel Old as Hell

Public diary entry written on 6/14/23

Photo by Emily Ranquist

June 2023 marks the tenth anniversary of my high school graduation. High school was such an odd chapter of my life, to the point where I don’t reminisce about it often. Even though it was strange, I can now see that it was integral to my growth. But, it took me a long, long time to mentally get here.

Photo by author // a selfie I took in senior year (2012–2013) // was I in the bathroom of my high school? I’m getting those vibes lmao

In high school, I was in an awkward transitional phase. I felt unable to truly relax because there was change surrounding me at all times.

I was pushing towards the independence of adulthood, while struggling to leave the comfort of childhood behind. I began to outgrow things that were once important to me, like certain hobbies and long-term friendships. As the courage to let these things go slowly grew, but I remained attached, I was mentally and emotionally off-kilter.

I’ve never been a social butterfly

I struggled with the fact that although I wanted to be “someone” in high school, I never figured out what was right for me.