Joking Around v.s. Being a Bully! What Is The Difference?
Why is it that one person can make a joke about you, laugh at you, and cause you emotional pain? Then you have this other person who can make jokes and laugh at you in similar ways, which lead to you laughing together? One person you call a bully. The other you call a friend. What makes one a bully and the other a friend?
There is critical information that one has to determine which is which. That critical information is based off of one other important question. That question is “Do they love me?”. I believe Love is the single factor between the joke that hurts you and the joke that makes you laugh. Which is a very powerful thing.
True love is the indescribable cushion of life that makes negative things less than what they are. I think many of us have experienced first hand in simple ways.
For example, I have been both a clumsy at School in front of strangers v.s the people that I know to be my friends after many loving experiences, whether big or small. When at school I think “Why are people not helping me and laughing at me?. They must not like me. They are smirking at me and they do not even know me. I wish I had friends here”.
However when I am clumsy with people I have come to know that love me then I act totally different. In this case, I play into the fact that I was clumsy. Let’s say that I trip over a thresh hold of a doorway and my friend busts out laughing saying “Are you okay?” following a “Walk much?”. I then say “yes” and over exaggerate the small injury. Then I tell him to go get me some juice. After he brings it to me, I drink it all and make him take it back. Only after he comes back, I then let him see me get up just 100 percent fine. Pulling one over on him.
Two different people. Two different experiences. That is strength of loving someone. When someone makes a joke about you, love is the filter. Now, that does not say that friends haven't said hurtful things. However, someone who is truly your friend will apologize and be better(if they are aware, because some friends are oblivious). Specifically for you, because they love you.
Now, all relationships are different. There have been people in life that have gone from bully to friend and friends that have turned into bullies. All though, sometimes it is not always other people. Sometimes it is us. We may have a bad day and a friend makes a joke or laughs at us that is we are sensitive to. We may be mostly sensitive and people who are usually testing that seem less of a bother, because you have had a great day. It all depends, but relationships take two people, whether a negative one with a bully, or a positive one with someone we adore.
I mean most people we may consider to be a bully simply want to be loved or do not possess the qualities of love. So what should we do? How is someone suppose too not be a bully, if one does not know how? After all, kindness and love is a skill. Skills take time to learn and also require a point of reference, unless of course you're a prodigy. Though obviously, bullies are not prodigies of love and kindness.
This then brings it back to you and me. Are we doing everything we can to show the human race that we love them? Do we ever come across as being a bully to others, even when we do not mean to? I mean, occasionally even I can laugh at someone or something that I genuinely think is funny, but I get so caught up in the moment, that I forget to show someone some love. It happens! So I think the important message that I am trying to convey is that we need to make sure our love for someone as a human being should out weigh natural habits of being entertained by the physical or circumstantial flaws of other people.
So remember, it is okay to laugh at things that are funny. Just know that it is more important to love. So love on!
