Tonight I am grateful for my sore neck that tells the story of my commitment to sitting at a computer finishing my work… which is t actually the story I want it to tell… but I am grateful I mostly got my work done and tomorrow feels more appealing now that that is true and I did enjoy the work once I got going with it.
I am grateful that I stayed with the writing once I got going with it because I already witnessed myself many times this week get into a flow with it and then feel cheery enough to leave it alone… only to feel disconnected from that flow and avoid the work. I am grateful I had a full draft ready for today and that I actually reworked it into an unrecognizable state… which is I guess what a second draft is… I. So unaccustomed to this thorough process.
I am grateful for all the first drafts that flow out of me decent enough to pass as legitimate effort and delight some readers.
I am grateful to be a process person learning to appreciate the process and building tolerance to withstand the high sensation of being in the peaks and dips of extensive process.
I am grateful the handbook I just finished creating is so darn cute.
I am grateful for hand holding and honesty and even the painful kind of honesty where you cry in front of the person you really didn’t realize you are just so comfortable and safe with… thereby forever altering your level of intimacy whether you like it or not.
I am grateful for obliterating my intention of alone time today by sitting for six hours at my kitchen table with a friend.
I am grateful for all the unknown… the same amount as ever… in some more overt outlandish forms than usual.
I’m grateful for the usual forms of unknown that I’m apparently addicted to … like how will these bills get paid!? I’m grateful I lead such an exciting life of mystery.
I’m grateful for my many altars that I am growing in relationship with and that there was a real campfire on one this evening… accidentally ignited… but on purpose allowed… and that the thing that burned smelled so darn good. I’m grateful for that plentiful smoke I pulled all over and around my body and that I leaned on the wall to wave each of my feet through it too. I’m grateful for renewal in all the ways it’s available… and I’m grateful for decomposition and destruction that allows for it.
I’m grateful to be a relatively odd duck who enjoys my alone time so thoroughly. I’m grateful to recommit to actually spending sundays alone and also off of social media.
I love that I make these devotional agreements with myself and often see them through for stretches of time.
I love that I feel spacious inside… and that I’m about to fall asleep smirking about someone super adorable that I get to see very soon.
Thanks for everything. No complaints.