Search Me, O God!

O Lord, you have searched me and known me! … Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psalm 139:1,23–24 ESV)

Any of us who reads this psalm might echo the words, “Search me, O God!” To be searched by God is to be known by God, and we can never know God without first being known by God.

The entire Christian life can be summed up in the idea of knowing Christ. If we would want to say as Paul said, “I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Phil.3:8), or as Paul also said, “For to me, to live is Christ” (Phil. 1:21), or as Christ said, “And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent” (John 17:3), then the unavoidable conclusion is that God will also know us, and in so doing He will search us, to show us to ourselves.

Yet we often object to the means God uses to uncover us to ourselves. We should be pro-active in our Christian life and character development, spending time with God, getting to know Christ better, letting Christ lead us and seeking to personally grow with a systematic study of His Word and in prayer. Yet we each seem to have some weaknesses, and miss some finer points along the path of life. We wish God would use only prayer and Scripture to search us, to pull back the cover from our eyes only in private. He, of course, does do this quite often, but other times He uses unpleasant means — the rebuke of a younger and less experienced person, the public realization of some failure in our life, or the succumbing of our bodies to the physical realities of how we have internalized stress. I believe He uses the more public means because they are more effective — both in their power to reveal the specific weakness, and in their power to reveal our own pride and true willingness to let Christ be glorified in us.

I was struck this morning by a quotation from Jonathan Edwards:

Considering that by-standers always espy some faults which we don’t see ourselves, or at least so fully sensible of: there are many secret workings of corruption which escape our sight, and others are only sensible of: resolved therefore, that I will, if I can by any convenient means, learn what faults others find in me, or what things they see in me, that appear anyway blameworthy, unlovely or unbecoming. (From Gordon MacDonald’s The Life God Blesses)

If spiritual growth is our passion, if knowing Christ is our goal, if being searched by Him is the means that God chooses and that we accept, then utter humility in all circumstances should be our attitude.

Having served a long time in Asia, and during my formative years, I am well acquainted with the Asian manners of respect to one’s elders and to those in respectable positions. Sometimes one might properly think that young people who might rebuke his elders are also being disrespectful — a fault of theirs — and Westerners are very prone to this fault, I must say. An Asian will defer to age and rank, but a Westerner seems to be respectful of no one in particular. So there may be good reasons why I am concerned that such disrespect is sometimes directed my way by a younger person.

Yet that does not mean there is no truth to their words, no valid fact in their observations. So if we ask God to search us, we should not complain about the means that He uses to do so. We have every right, of course, to request of Him to be gentle with us, while also being clear. But still the matter is in His hands. He does so for our real good — and not mere appearances.

David gave a demonstration of humility when he and his closest friends were forced to leave the palace because of the rebellion of his own son Absalom. A man named Shimei cursed David as he traveled across the Kidron Valley. When Abishai offered to kill him for David, David replied, “Behold, my own son seeks my life; how much more now may this Benjaminite! Leave him alone, and let him curse, for the Lord has told him to” (2 Sam. 16:11).

As Christians we can take all valid criticism in a similar spirit. Behold, I am still not perfect for my Lord, and if someone finds some weakness in me, let me take it as a sign of God that I need to work on this personal trait to become more like Christ. (I am not saying that we should adjust our lives to lies and to false criticisms, or to unjust criticisms, or to criticisms because of biblical stances we take.)

So, here are some thoughts for our spiritual growth today. Seek Christ in a spirit of complete humility if you seek Him at all, and accept as demonstrations of the Father’s love any valid correction that comes your way. And be gentle with others, remembering the words of Christ: “For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you” (Matt. 7:2).