Nintendo Switch Review
Soulless Robots: A Simulator Without Life
The only human life at risk here is yours if you choose to play Robot Squad Simulator.
Robot Squad Simulator takes you on a variety of precarious missions where you navigate an assortment of remotely controlled robots through a variety of levels with varying objectives. Different levels have different requirements so while one level you’ll be controlling the EOD robot with the movable arm the next you may find yourself using the Spy drone spelunking through caves.
Robot Squad Simulator has placed the groundwork for a solid simulation-style game. It’s just too bad it fails to execute on all the things that actually matter, like effectively controlling your drone… which is the entire premise of the game. But regardless, punch that clock and pick up that controller! Hop on the train and let’s maneuver our way through the intricacies that are Robot Squad Simulator.
Developer: Bit Golem
Publisher: Ultimate Games
3 Hours Played
Review Copy Provided
$14.99 on the Nintendo Switch eShop
Let’s make one thing clear. I don’t entirely dislike Robot Squad Simulator. I always give every game a fair shot; I’ve even been surprised, no, unexpectantly floored, numerous times here at Nindie Nexus. When I first played and reviewed Horizon Shift 81 it was something akin to getting knocked in the head by an errant baseball at an MLB game.
After picking up and playing Moero Chronicle Hyper I re-discovered things that I may have forgotten since I was 15 years old.
Robot Squad simulator had me finding bombs and spelunking broken caves. The problems lie not with the missions themselves but rather how you get there.
In Robot Squad Simulator it is in fact, fun, but only for a hot second. After getting stuck in the gutter or hung up on a train track for the third time, the fun quickly dissipates.
The gameplay deteriorates into something that feels like it would only be seen within the walls of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria; not even a highly specialized remotely controlled robot arm can unstick you from this gummy situation.
I continually became caught on objects within the environment and found myself having to restart from the latest checkpoint. This fills the game with high levels of sodium chloride as I had to repeat the tricky obstacle maneuvering or even dodge sniper shots that always seem to hit you even though they didn’t even look close.
Controlling highly specialized remotely controlled robots sounds really badass right?! In Robot Squad Simulator there is a garage full of high tech drones at your disposal but you can’t use them all right away. Robot Squad Simulator trickles them out slowly only as needed per the level mission objectives. These drones are pretty neat. Their design is fairly detailed and each drone has its own unique skillset.
For example, the EOD drone pictured above is best for remotely defusing bombs with its robotic arm. When controlling this drone you can easily switch between steering and arm controls. Controlling the drones and operating their different functionalities is actually quite fun. In fact, this is the best part about Robot Squad Simulator.
Unfortunately, the fun stops pretty quickly once we get into the levels and the janky camera. Robot Squad Simulator is the epitome of stiff janky camera movement. Every time I touched the stick to move the camera I felt like the screen was going to knock the teeth out of my head. In attempts to circumvent this jankiness, I often found myself controlling the drone without moving the camera, opting to utilize the L and R buttons to turn left and right.
Enough is Enough
This is the moment I stopped playing Robot Squad Simulator and started writing. No amount of wanting to pilot a flying or underwater drone could make me play any further.
While I did say that manipulating the controls of the drone is fun, things start going wrong once the drone hits the ground; Robot Squad Simulator suffers from an issue with how the drone maneuvers across the landscapes. Something feels really wrong with how the drone turns, climbs, and even slides across the landscape even when it should be immobile. This makes the game’s only solid feature, controlling the drones, incredibly frustrating. You slip and slide all over the landscape as though the ground is covered in dish soap; punching yourself in the face may indeed be more pleasant. It becomes even worse when the current task is to pick up a gold nugget the size of your first girlfriend. When things go wrong with Robot Squad Simulator, things go really bad.
I’m stopping the train here and letting everyone off because the next stop is crazy town.
The timer is ticking and I’m not going to punish everyone further here. There are numerous other things we could mention such as magical floating buttons, decent enough level backgrounds, glitchy graphics, and crazy bomb hitboxes.
Robot Squad Simulator has a solid idea that is completely hampered by janky controls, camera movement, and odd landscape mechanics. The audio is similarly nothing special. It feels like the same harrowing track plays over and over and quickly loses its dramatic appeal.
I think if Robot Squad Simulator went on a 90% off sale it might be worth picking up, but I believe there’s no saving this one at its current price. Its mistakes are an unforgivable and all-around disastrous experience; the game has definitely worked itself down from a potential Full Heart rating down to an Empty Heart.
