Crossroads Blues
CHAPTER 2: DEAFENING SILENCE
Dad’s voice shakes me out of my reverie. I quickly pack the rest of my things, take a quick sweeping look across the room and lock the door. I get into the car and off we go. Dad is quiet. I don’t say anything either.
MUMBAI…. I really am gonna miss you. Although I have lived here my whole life, this city still fascinates me. I roll down the window, pop my head out a bit and try to absorb everything the city has to offer me, for one last time, before I finally leave. Every part of the city holds a memory, good and bad.
We hit a traffic jam. It’s probably one of the few things I hate about the city. As the sunlight streams in through the window, I look out and I see a woman dressed in rags, with a kid, knocking on the window of a BMW asking for alms. I have lived here for the last 18 years of my life, yet the striking contrast and the complex dualities of the city still take my breath away. With its bustling streets filled with people be it day or night, the balmy beaches, the old-world charm architecture, the strikingly modern skyscrapers, and the cramped slums, Mumbai is a city of both extremes. There are posh areas like Juhu where the country’s richest people live. On the flip side, the slums of Dharavi overflow with poor people who barely manage to earn a livelihood. They live in temporary makeshift tents, sleep on the roads and starve for a meal. Living in this city, I have seen both sides of the world, the prosperous and peaceful one, and the gloomy and uncertain one.
The streets do tell a lot about the lives of the people living on them. Not all streets look lively. I have seen a lot of unlit, abandoned streets that look disastrous. These depict the darker side of the city. These harbour rowdies who trouble the common folk, provide spaces for drug and weapon dealing, murders, assaults, gang wars, and many other awful activities. I remember a newspaper article that I had read recently about how kids and school students get caught in this dark web of illegal activities. I shudder slightly at this thought…
As the traffic clears, I see the woman scurrying to the side of the road to let the cars go by. I see a desperate, hopeless look in her eyes.
It starts drizzling. There is something magical about Mumbai rains. I feel like the city truly comes to life during such moments. I feel the rush of the cold breeze and it makes my face break into a big smile. The rains in Mumbai have given me some of my best days. I remember the days I used to jump in puddles with my friends, eat vada pav and drink hot chai. And then, I remember one of the worst days of my life. As we drive past the beach, the memory of it becomes clearer in my mind.
Mom was someone who I could rely on totally. I was extremely upset about something that day and mom, as usual, was giving me the best advice possible. Everything was fine; everything was perfect, or at least that’s what I thought until that very moment. It’s funny and scary how a single moment can turn your life upside down. It happened so fast. A car… mom screaming… and her lying in a pool of blood is all I remember about that moment. I tried talking to her, but there was no reply. I pleaded and begged…still no response. I held her hand, but as her hand slowly loosened its grip and fell to the ground like a lifeless piece of flesh, is when I understood that she was gone…forever. She was never coming back…
Something died inside me that day. My heart shattered into a million pieces. Holed up in my room, I lost track of day and night. Everywhere I looked, I could see only darkness.
I had recurring nightmares about that day. I couldn’t sleep; I couldn’t think and I just felt a heaviness weighing on my chest.
But what people say is true. Time does heal. As time went by, I felt better. I slowly caught hold of academics as a distraction from my broken reality and used it as a driving source. I went with the flow and somehow managed to get into college.
The plane gently lands with a thud. CHENNAI…. This city is gonna be my home for the next 4 years.
I stepped foot into college ready to start life afresh. I expected life to be kinder to me. But as days went by, I came across a lot of things that reminded me of the past. I felt lonely. I tried to distract myself from all of it by talking to more people, getting into sports, joining clubs, but everything went in vain. My grades dropped very low and I just lost control of myself. Neither could I accept, nor change myself. I was filled with anguish and anxiety.
One evening, as I was cycling back to my hostel through a deserted alley, lost in my thoughts, I met her….
This article has been written by Rohith samuel, Miraharibabu, Rashmi B N, Rohit Guna
Chapter 1: Locked Open
