Waking up this Morning….
I woke up this morning feeling gratitude, driven and determined.
My heart feels in center with my mind. My mind feels in center with my body as I do my morning stretches. For some vivid reason, I feel more capable than I did 10 days ago.
10 days ago I did something I have never done before. I took my son and I through two different states, on a drive, being the only adult in the car. I was driving, of course. We drove through Washington (our home), through Oregon, and then down to Northern California (where some family and friends stay).
I saved up money throughout the year, so we were able to have 2 hotel stays. I saved the money all year to be able to afford the gasoline that filled up my car tank. I was gifted some of that for Christmas from my parents. “Use this cash to fly out to California and visit.” they said to me. “Nah, I don’t like flying. Why not make an adventure out of this and drive.” I said.
One can say many things. “I am going to do this, I am going to do that.” None of that matters. You “do” or you “don’t”.
I literally NEVER eat out. I DIY my household products. I never buy coffee at a coffee house. I regrow my green onions. I scope out “Thurston Talk” to find free events in our area that my son may enjoy attending. I envelope my cash for the month for financial budgeting. I save 20% of all my paychecks into savings, leaving me not very much spending money at all. I write grocery lists and stick by that list. I save all my coins and cash them in. I bargain shop. I cut my own hair, and my son’s hair (I do a damn good job at it too). I plan my errands for one, single day to save fuel. I have no TV, no cable, no Netflix. I do my yoga via YouTube, instead of spending the money for a live class. I read about how to save money, then I follow some of the guidelines. What can I say? I am frugal, and it is impressive.
Thing is, I am happy.
Because I choose to live in the realms of frugality, I was able to treat my son to a total of 24 hours in the car with me, his mother. I was able to treat him to 2 hotel stays along the way (of course only the hotels that served a complimentary breakfast). I was able to afford the gasoline for the car, and put $500 of maintenance work into the car prior to ensure safe driving.
During our visit, my brother treated me to a Bikram Yoga session in Aptos, Ca. He regularly attends the studio. I sailed through 90 minutes of this session like a warrior. How was I able to do this without ever attending a yoga class? Well, I attended free YouTube yoga sessions all year long. I was ready for his class.
I feel capable and determined this morning.
I have generalized anxiety and OCD. The road trip that my son and I took was challenging for me. It was challenging for me to let things go for the sake of having an adventure. I planned the trip out and we conquered it. I fell out of my routine during our stay, and survived. I saved the money to do this trip. I drove the car. I kept my son safe. I kept myself safe.
Originally, I asked for today off of work, seeing that we arrived home yesterday. I wanted one day to unpack and settle back into our loft. I unpacked and settled in to our loft within 2 hours of arriving home. I cooked, I cleaned, I did my exercises. I cut my hair, I took a shower, and repainted my nails. I bathed my son.
Last night I was thinking, “I could work tomorrow. May as well call work to see if they have a spontaneous shift available for me.” They answered, and they did have a shift. I am working today. Why not. That is extra change in my piggy bank. I still have the piggy bank my mother made me. “1974. Love Mom”. She etched this into her ceramic piggy bank that she made for me. She passed away in 1988, therefore anything she gave me to is invaluable.
I challenged myself. I challenged myself to save money. I challenged myself to drive outside of my own boundaries. I challenged myself. I have blown my own soul out of the water.
I landed in the sky.
Feels good to surpass your own internal boundaries. Feels good to bust through the illusions of your own self. “I can do this if I set my soul to it.”
Here I am this morning feeling gratitude, driven and determined. I am on the right track for myself and surprising myself along the way.
Best part about it? I have been 100% sober. For many days now, I have been clean and sober. I attended recovery meetings throughout the trip. The miracle really does happen when you stick solid to the foundation.
Just for today, I will live knowing that I am able to achieve what my soul dreams of doing.
More lessons on their way.