From #MeToo to #NotMe

We enter the world as cute bundles of joy. We progress through infancy, to childhood, and adolescence before we become young adults. Somewhere along the way, our bodies meet puberty. It hits us like a storm and leaves us with basic characteristics designed to attract the opposite sex. Suddenly women have hips, breast and a more mature face. Boys become young men equipped with facial hair, musk and deep voices that can command a room. At the time we are so wrapped up in adjusting to all these unwarranted changes that we seldom pay attention to how it causes others to react to us.

So what happens when young people enter the workforce in the weird in-between ages? When you’re standing somewhere between legal but unacceptable, it can be tricky figuring out how to react to your senior bosses’ and colleagues’ advances towards you about something other than what’s listed in your job description. Sexual Harassment.

SEXUAL HARASSMENT SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED BY ANY VICTIM AND SHOULD NOT BE CONDONED BY ANY COMPANY. It comes in both physical and verbal forms. Sexual assault is defined as “Behavior characterized by the making of unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances in a workplace or other professional or social situation.” If you think you are experiencing sexual assault or a witness to it, it is important to speak up and advocate for yourself/ or the victim.

I paint this scenario in my story because I experienced sexual harassment as a working teen and young adult, but did nothing because I was not aware of the power I had to defend myself against unwanted advances. An online survey launched in January by a nonprofit called Stop Street Harassment offers some of that missing evidence. It found that 81 percent of women and 43 percent of men had experienced some form of sexual harassment during their lifetime. At the time of my experience, like many other victims I thought that I had done something to warrant the behavior. Maybe if my uniform didn’t fit so snug.. Maybe I shouldn’t be wearing makeup to work.. Maybe I was too friendly.

In the days of the “Me Too” movement we are empowering women to speak up; and attempting to dispel the act of victim shaming but we need to do more. Most companies have in-effective policies outlines in their hiring pamphlet about workplace education, relationships and sexual assault. They make generic statements about their disdain for harassment but very few outline, in detail; what steps should be taken by the victim to aler the company of the harassment and even fewer outline to victims what the company’s response will be if/ when their claims are found to be true. Until victims believe that they will be protected in scenarios where they report others for that type of behavior, we are failing. Until we are clear in our education to all sexes about what qualifies as sexual harassment; we are all failing. And until we run out “ Me Too’s” we are all failing. And the system is justly failing us.