The police domestic violence epidemic is America’s open secret

Police violence includes domestic violence, and it isn’t talked about enough.

Domestic abusers rely on fear and power. Victims of domestic violence often report being afraid of what their abuser will do next, being afraid that they’re going crazy, and being afraid that no one will believe them. Many of these affected are understandably afraid of what their abusive partner will do if they report them.

While all intimate partner abuse is unacceptable, it’s especially concerning when a high number of domestic abusers are the ones victims often look to for help.

Although data on police domestic violence is notoriously difficult to gather and is warped by a culture of silence and intimidation of abuse victims, two studies have found that at least 40 percent of police officer families experience domestic violence, compared to 10 percent of families in the general population.

In addition to these statistics, multiple women have come forward over the years to report suffering emotional or physical abuse at the hands of police officer partners. Many have reached out to Alex Roslin after reading his award-winning book, Police Wife: The Secret Epidemic of Police Domestic Violence, one of the only major works on the subject.

In addition to Roslin’s work, the stories of women who suffer at the hands of abusive officer partners have told their stories to the media. Some victims say they believe their partners used their positions in law enforcement to intimidate or harass them. Others claim that they were arrested repeatedly, stalked by marked police cars, and warned that there was no point in reporting their abuse because members of the force protect one another.

Many partners of police officers who suffer domestic violence are afraid to even report abuse. Those who do report say their partners’ colleagues failed to follow up on abuse claims, and even discouraged them from making statements. In addition, abuse allegations against law enforcement rarely result in convictions, with most officers accused of domestic violence staying on the force and being allowed to keep their guns. Victims of domestic violence at the hands of their police officer partners are often left without help until it’s too late.

The issue of police violence against their families is rarely talked about until it makes headlines. When they do make the media, it’s often too late. Multiple news reports have been made about police officers killing their partners, or even committing murder-suicide.

There’s the infamous 2003 case of Tacoma Police Chief David Brame, who shot his wife Crystal Brame and himself in front of their young children. Crystal complained about receiving intimidation and death threats from her husband before she was murdered.

In a similar case, New York police investigator Joseph Longo Jr. stabbed his estranged wife Kristen Palumbi-Longo and then himself to death in 2009. According to a lawsuit, Kristin had contacted police at least five times in the weeks before she was murdered, saying she feared her husband might kill her and their children.

Joshua Boren, a Utah police officer, murdered his wife Kelly Boren, their two children, his mother-in-law, and then himself in 2014. An investigative report revealed that Boren had been drugging and raping his wife, and video taping the assaults. Kelly had told a therapist that she didn’t want to report the assaults because she didn’t want to ruin her husband’s career in law enforcement.

Despite evidence of an epidemic of officer domestic abuse and the history of systematic racism in the criminal justice system, police remain heroes. While the current movement for police accountability is gaining traction, police violence against families isn’t being included in conversation on abuse of power as much as it should.

These cases of abuse and murder aren’t isolated tragedies. An unacceptable amount of domestic violence is going on in the homes of law enforcement officers, while police departments do little about it.