Road > Destination
Stockton to Malone. Malone back out to Stockton, Stockton waves Hornacek away and Malone reposts. Stockton back to Malone, Malone backs into Rodman. Jordan swipes from behind, Jordan steals the ball. Jordan brings the ball up from the backcourt, Russell picks him up at half court. Jordan dribbles left, sizes up Russell and checks the shot clock. Jordan makes a move to the right, crosses back over, jump shot top of the key…. It’s Good!!! Bulls take the lead off the jumper by Michael Jordan. “Nelson stop jumping on my couch like a damn monkey” screams my mom from her bedroom. How she can see me going crazy in the living room when her bedroom is nowhere near it is a question I’ll never get answers too but that night it didn’t matter because I had just witnessed history. Michael Jordan nailed a game winner to capture his sixth and final title and clench his 2nd 3peat with the Chicago Bulls. The way I celebrated in my house, bouncing off couches and walls you would think I was a member of the team with a cigar and bottle of champagne waiting for me in the locker room. But no I’m a 10 year old kid from Ocean Village Far Rockaway NY who just fell in love with basketball. A sport that would shape the next 12 years of my life by taking me places I never dreamed about, introducing me to people that would become life long friends and teaching me lessons that would set the foundation for the man I am today.
Growing up in Far Rockaway NY one must learn what their niche will be early and latch on to it quick. Between the troubled streets, limited activity options and rival neighborhoods the streets swallow up most kids before they reach 18. I was lucky enough to find solace in basketball; the sport seduced me with its athletic players, fast pace and graceful gestures. I also associated basketball with recognition, all the great basketball players I knew got all the love. Either from the girls or guys, all loved the ballers. I wanted that kind of love, where everyone knows you and is eager to greet you and ask about the last game you played and how many points you scored. The allure of basketball coupled with my thirst to be recognized drove me to setting my first notable goal in life; make it to the NBA. This brings me to the first point I want to make on how basketball taught me the keys to happiness & success. Setting a goal is the first step in realizing success; before you do anything you must first pinpoint what it is that you want. Whatever it is and no matter how farfetched it might seem to you or someone else you have to set your goals first before you can do anything else. It will be the light at the end of the tunnel during the journey, helping to guide you through the rough times. I can vividly remember proclaiming my goal to my mother at the kitchen table the next morning after the Bulls won the 98’ title. My mom was whipping up those homemade pancakes, scrambled eggs & bacon I love while I was rambling on about how great MJ was and how I’m going to make it to the league and win titles just like him. On the surface this might seem minuscule, something that every kid did at some point or anther and shouldn’t be weighed so heavily. But what I’ve come to learn is that moment was so pivotal to how I would attack life, staking my claim and setting my goals is an empowering experience. I forced myself to act on what I just proclaimed the moment I said it to myself and to someone I love because it now became real. Goal setting is the first step in turning your dreams into reality and once your dream is real you can begin to plan how to obtain this real goal. It also gave me an exciting challenge to wake up and attack each day, just the thought of this goal bought happiness to my life even without achieving it yet.
So here I am, this 10-year-old snot nose kid who wants to be a professional basketball player. So what next? I started playing ball with the local kids from my neighborhood, and guess what? I SUCKED; I was short, didn’t know the rules of the game, couldn’t shoot and never got picked. It was my first experience of rejection, I figured all I had to do was say I was going to be an NBA player and poof it would just happen but that’s not how the world works. I went back to my real goal that I set and it drove me to my next realization, once you set your goal you now have to map out what it will take to achieve it. Your goal is the core force behind each step you take next, once you set your goal you can begin to identify what you need to do next in order to obtain the goal. For me it was practicing daily, watching basketball games every chance I got, being around the other great players I knew and studying the things they did and just living and breathing the sport. I had to wake up with basketball on my mind and go to sleep with a ball in my hand if I wanted to get better. Because I was on the court everyday after school and everyday during the summer I started to make a lot of friends, we would all just play basketball for hours. We built a bond off of our love and admiration for the game. It was our way of expressing ourselves and we could be free for those hours we played. Troubles at home or issues in our neighborhood disappeared once we got on the court. Basketball took us to another world, a world outside of the desolate one we knew in Far Rockaway. The importance of mapping out what you need to do in order to accomplish your goal is multifaceted. You begin to actively visualize your goal and see a path to obtaining it while also figuring out the things you shouldn’t do because they don’t lead towards your goal. I learned I couldn’t join a gang or start smoking or getting into trouble because it didn’t lead to the NBA. I only wanted to do things that led to the NBA and that was practicing and going to school. Unbeknownst to me I was building habits that would help improve my decision making in life, if something does not lead to my goals or deters me from what I want in life I won’t do it. If something has been identified as a step that leads to my goals, I must do it every chance I get.
As high school rolled around I began to shape into a pretty decent basketball player. I played in tons of summer tournaments and was known locally as one of the best youth players. At the time I thought this was it, I’ve made it big now but sure enough I would learn the hard way just how much further I had to go. Freshman year of high school I walked into the gym during junior varsity tryouts with my chest poking out just knowing I would make the team. After what I thought was a great performance I checked the list of names of people who made the squad. I must have looked at that list 20 times before I let it sink in that I didn’t make the team. The rejection was something I didn’t really want to accept but a reality I couldn’t escape. This leads me to the next lesson I learned due to basketball, you must apply laser like focus to the steps mapped out to achieve your goals. I didn’t make the team because I was starting to get concerned with other things in high school like girls, friends & parties. I lost my focus. The rejection of not making the team was a great wake up call; it lit a fire in me and forced me to focus on getting better every single day. For the rest of the school year I devoted all of my free time to practicing, I made sure to keep my eyes on the ultimate goal of making the team. I couldn’t really see anything else or allow distractions to deter me. Remaining focused is by far the hardest part during the journey towards accomplishing goals but it is also the most critical piece. This focus will help you remain aware of where you stand, how far you need to go and what needs to be done to move forward. Focus keeps you sharp for when the big break comes. Most people miss their opportunity not because they don’t have the skills, but because they didn’t realize their big break was there for the taking. My break came when my AAU coach said that the head coach of a college I had been accepted too was going to be attending a tournament we would be at. I played my best ball ever that weekend not because my skills improved but because I understood the importance of having my best performance in front of this coach. I understood what benefits would come as a result of me showing my skills prior to stepping on campus. My focus allowed me to realize this was the opportunity I needed to play college basketball.
So by now your probably running a google search to find what professional basketball team I play for and it’s drawing a blank, right? Well you can stop with the search because I didn’t make it to the NBA, after 4 years of D3 college basketball I graduated with my bachelors degree in computer science and started my career in the tech industry as an application developer. This leads me back to the title of this post, the road is greater than the destination. This means so much to me because as I look back at all the things I accomplished while chasing my goal of making it to the NBA, I see that’s where the success & happiness is. I formed great habits, stayed away from activities and people that would get me in trouble while also learning discipline and focus. Chasing basketball has connected me with some of my closets friends, allowed me to travel the world since a young age and actually helped me land my first internship & job out of college. Looking back I’d say basketball has done so much for me that making the NBA would have just been extra icing on the already scrumptious red velvet cake of life. The journey towards my goals has taught me some valuable lessons that I apply to every aspect of my life, from personal to entrepreneurial.
Set goals, break those goals down into steps, and dedicate yourself to accomplishing something towards those steps each day. No matter how small or how large, accomplish something that brings you closer to the next step. Having this process be the foundation of your life puts everything else into place. You will weed out people and things that aren’t good for you and don’t add to your joy. When your focused on your goals anything or anyone not adding joy is a distraction but you can’t see that unless you’re focused on your goal. The universe will place people and opportunities into your life at the right time that will help bring you closer to your goals. When you’re focused y’all be aware of this and appreciate these people and opportunities even more. Y’all live a happier, purposeful & clarity driven life. Being focused on your goals makes you realize you don’t need much outside of your purpose and the close relationships you’ve cultivated. A minimalistic and focused approach to life produces happiness. The money and accolades will come if your staying true to the process, Road > Destination.
