“How Did He Solve His Problem With a Toilet?”

…to the tune of “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?”

Photo by the author. You can steal it, but what would motivate such theft?

He buys the votes then rips his notes.
His eyes have got that stare.
He saunters on his way to golf
And nullifies oath swear
And underneath his coiffure
He hasn’t got a prayer.
We’ve even heard he cusses in the White House.

He’s always late for rallies
But his malfeasance is real.
He’s always dissing Democrats
Except for those who steal

We hate to have to say it
But we very firmly feel
Don is not an asset to our country….

Who’d like to say a word in his behalf?
Donald…makes us…sclaff.*

How did he solve his problem with a toilet?
Why did he rip the docs and flush them down?
How do we trump a gangster like The Donald?
That fuk-up-ti-jibbet! That rip-o’-the wisp! That klown!

Many a law we know we know that he has broken
Many a truth he ought to understand…
But how do we make him pay
Then get him to go away?
When will the DOJ see that he’s banned?

Oh, why did he solve his problem with a toilet?
How did we hold this con man in our land?

When we watch him on the news
He lacks focus, is confused
And we never know exactly what he means.
Unpredictable as Wall Street
He is manic, he has conceit.
He’s a grifter! He’s a scofflaw! He’s a ham!
He outpesters any pest.
Gives reporters great unrest.
He can throw a scrambling Congress into scam.
He is evil when he’s riled!
He’s a charade! He’s reviled!
He’s a villain! He’s an outlaw!

He’s a child.

How did he solve his problem with a toilet?
How did he think that he could make it drown?
How do we trump a gangster like The Donald?
That fuk-up-ti-jibbet! That rip-o’-the wisp! That klown!

Many the folk we know that he has tarnished.
Many a fact he’s put into a twist.
We’re tired of the delay
Let us rise above this fray
How can we close his door and draw his blinds?
Oh, how do we solve a problem like The Trumpster?
How do we rinse this nonsense from our minds?

  • A real word…a noun…it means a golf swing where the club hits the ground first, not quite a divot, and the ball may still be hit, but the stroke is counted as a failure.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_txdxL5zJg

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Mary L. Holden

Mary L. Holden

A constantly evaporating editor and writer. Believer in medium since 2013 when they made me wait for an invitation….