If Only I’d Known …
Limericks let loose for Christmas
Pulled out of my driveway still unscathed,
was running late, but so glad I bathed.
Backed down to my neighbor’s,
whose wife still belabors,
“Together, you’ve never behaved”
What does she mean? What what and what where?
We’re normal buds — just a fun-loving pair.
At Hooters, no leering,
just burgers and beering.
If only I’d known, temptation was there.
A bit embarrassed, not sure I should share.
Went to the restroom to comb my hair.
Missed sign, “Please step down.”
Tripped, fell, hit my crown.
If only I’d known, that warning was there.
Seems a buxom server had heard me swear.
She saw my head bleeding, bump big as pear.
Applied forehead band-aid,
healing kiss (sweet handmaid.)
If only I’d known, she left lipstick there.
Now heading home, looking worse for wear.
Took alley short cut, my friend’s stupid dare.
Heard a pop, what was that?
Can’t believe…
