I’m Just Not a Dog Person

a cynophobic confessional

pohto credit: Auréanne Mailhiot

No disrespect to my
dog-person friends
(to whom this will sound like
a bunch of non-sense),

but I just don’t dig on
the canine race.
I cannot help but to
imagine worst case

each time I pass
a doggie on the street,
I visualize them
sinking their teeth

into my ankles or
sensitive thighs,
as their nonchalant owners
feign their surprise.

This scenario has been
my lifelong fright …
and it doesn’t help that
their heads are crotch-height.

Listen — I know
not all dogs are vicious,
but you gotta admit
they’re a fairly capricious

species, in general,
endowed with congenital

irrepressible urges,
and when that wolf instinct emerges,