I’ve Been Robbed

Crimes pay when the rhyme’s foreplay

Harper Thorpe
Jul 29, 2019 · 1 min read
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Photo by Author demonstrating how to extend the life of summer footwear for who knows how long!

There once was a fine pair of sandals
got into the hands of some vandals
when they were returned
their cruel fate I learned
this was just the tip of the scandals.

The thieves must have thought me stupido
or “leave substitutes” was their credo
my swimsuit was taken
which left my boys shakin’
they’re scared they’ll be seen in that speedo.

That wasn’t the only thing wrong
my briefs were replaced by one thong
date night, I was late
wife warned “I won’t wait”
at least flossing thong string was long.

My house search proved it wasn’t ransacked
Surprised me they forgot loot backpacked
adult costumes and stuff
French maid, masks and handcuffs
What’s this? It’s a note — so I backtracked.

The bedroom is where I discovered
the bandit soon would be uncovered
I pulled back the sheets
and there was My Sweets
I hadn’t been robbed, I been lovered!

©2019 HHThorpe. All rights reserved.

I’ll bet this reminds you of “The Underwear Song”. Doesn’t it?

Harper Thorpe

Written by

Engaged citizen, poet, musician, humorist, family man. I value irreverence, soulfulness, and a big heart. Offering insight, introspection, shock & aw shucks!

No Crime in Rhymin’

poetry that dares to be funny, edgy, irreverent

Harper Thorpe

Written by

Engaged citizen, poet, musician, humorist, family man. I value irreverence, soulfulness, and a big heart. Offering insight, introspection, shock & aw shucks!

No Crime in Rhymin’

poetry that dares to be funny, edgy, irreverent

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