My One-Clap Rap
Performed with tongue in cheek
In life, there’s not much I’m sure of,
Just something Medium needs more of:
A lament, an outcry, or in my case, a rap
About the horrid fan who gives one clap.
How dare you not praise what I’ve done
With a clap that numbers more than one?
I’m a genius. Poet. Star. It’s true.
One Clapper Wretch? Just who are you?
Don’t say you are a busy mom or dad
Wishing for more time than what you had.
Or someone with an arthritic thumb.
Someone discerning? That’s just dumb.
I hereby demand fifty claps for all I do,
For managing to bear the likes of you.
Writing for you is drudgery and tedium.
I wither without the claps of Medium.
And while we are at it, let’s talk curation.
I’m clearly worthy of the adulation.
Top writer status for my little ditty!
Anything less would be downright shitty.
If you liked my rap, you know what to do.
Feed my ego because I really need you to.
Come on fans, please do your part.
I do it for the claps and not the art.
And now, like all the best pieces on Medium, I will write a footnote explaining my work because I will assume you aren’t smart enough to figure it out yourself. I’m just kidding. Or as the fancy people call it, this is satire.
