National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
15th November
We’re going to clean this festering fridge today,
so throw that moldy bit of broccoli away,
discard the cheese decaying into mush,
remove the rotting relics with a brush.
What’s this? A tooth? Now how did that get there?
And here’s a putrid avocado pear.
Who puts a sweaty insole here to store?
And what’s this hiding in the fridge’s door?
A urine sample Grandpa did last year,
Alongside bottles of his home-brewed beer.
I don’t know which I’d rather have to drink!
Oh heck, they all release an awful stink.
How long has that brown soup been lurking there?
And what’s that floating in it — poodle hair?
These chicken livers have all turned to leather
With something green and gooey sticking them together.
A box of dates from 1982,
A toilet brush that should be in the loo!
Good. All those nasty things are in the bin
Each shelf is gleaming like a brand new pin.
Off to the supermarket now to buy supplies
Sausages and fruit and apple pies,
Cauliflower, lemons, celery,
Eggs and onions, Cheddar, Edam, Brie.
I’ll put them in the fridge…and there they’ll stay
Until the next refrigerator-cleaning day.
We live on pizza, chips and take-aways
A gathering of polystyrene trays,
Curry, sweet and sour pork balls and rice,
Who wants a fridge? For sale — a bargain price!
