Return of the Woke Bloke
dazed and confused as ever, but still trying
wide awake in America ... you too?I’m so woke —
I’ve just unfriended
everyone I know
named Karen
or Donald
or Adolf
or Chad
I’m so woke —
I‘m canceling
police procedurals
true crime originals
cop series seasonals
bluecoat confessionals
films that romanticize
uniformed criminals
movies that glorify
sheriffs and generals
slogans that infuriate
grievances exacerbate
cultures misappropriate
trigger warnings perforate
questionable facebook posts
problematic game show hosts
canceling Kanye,
Kim, Kylie, Kendall,
indeed, for good measure,
the complete Kardashian clan
they’re all suspiciously attractive —
just being proactive here
I prefer “she/her” pronouns
No, not for me, I’m a
“he/him”
I guess
whatevs
if that’s, like,
important to you,
but I prefer women,
because they are nicer,
smarter, and, of course, hotter
I’m so woke —
I’m all for women’s lib
whether it be from
wage inequality,
from toxic
mascu-
linity
or
from
their
under-
garments.
It’s
not
you,
it’s me.
Although
to be fair, it’s
the both of us.
And to be honest,
it’s really mostly you.
I’m so woke —
I ain’t slept
since
patient-
mother-
fuckin’
zero.
helping you navigate our pitfall-riddled cultural landscape since 2018
