Tell Laura I Love Her
fat lot of good that is now
You thought that would impress me,
a stupid stock car race?
The idea was you’d win it
and rush to my embrace,
bring me a thousand dollars
and get to second base.
Okay, you bought me flowers,
a cuddly bear or two,
I have to say my bedroom
is looking like a zoo;
and oh, so many chocolates —
gained five pounds, thanks to you.
Money spent on silly things;
you could have saved that cash
to put towards the wedding
instead of being rash —
what’s worse, it was my father’s car
you totalled in that crash.
Well, Tommy, I did love you
and would have been your bride,
you claimed it was for me you lived
and just for me you died.
Romantic? No, you bonehead!
I hope you’re satisfied.
You told me not to cry for you,
but bitter tears were shed;
some kids came Trick or Treating,
saw my red eyes and fled;
you must admit it, Tommy —
you’re no use to me dead.
I need a man alive and warm,
(a job’s a bonus too),
a solid, stand-up, decent guy
who’ll never leave me blue,
so if you’re looking down right now -
this finger’s just for you.
