The Invisible Enemy
A Public Service Announcement
I wrote this story to be of public service.
When you read “puff”, don’t think tobacco inhale.
Instead, “puff’” subs for a word some find offensive.
For our purpose here, it means backside exhale.
Getting the mail is, for me, a short trip,
Front door to curb, likely no one will see.
My pants are upstairs, but my boxers are clean,
And I’m looking good in my “I love Phish” T.
My wife says to hurry, “The neighbors approach.
They’re wearing their masks for protection.”
I jump off the couch — TV blares BREAKING NEWS!
“Puffs CAN transmit the COVID infection!”
Even if so, aren’t my shorts a butt mask?
And anyway, I don’t feel gassy.
My wife interrupts, “Are you going like that?
Your underwear’s not very classy!”
“My pants are upstairs, Dear, and I need to run.
Be back in the house ’fore they notice.”
She looked out the window, then said “What’s that smell?
You puff or is that halitosis?”
