There once was a guy in a striped nylon tie…
I once had this job, I don’t know why
The reasons were various
But one day came a guy with a striped nylon tie
And things got precarious
He wasn’t my boss, and I wasn’t his
So why even worry
But he was, shall we say, of a different sort
With some kind of story
He sold more and sold faster than anyone else
Making us look like suckers
And he even had luck with Accounting belles
And took one to Fuddruckers
We were all at a loss, so we went to the boss
But the boss was dismissive:
“What a jealous bunch!
Go sell, thank you much!”
And left us all hissing
It was all “sell or die,” but the guy with the tie — he didn’t gloat
One day he was gone, so I went to his desk and found a note
It said he was leaving with no goodbye,
’Cause goodbyes do not matter
But there it was — that old striped nylon tie
Wrapped inside his letter
In front of a mirror, I tied the tie on
And liked what I saw
So I figured, why not, ’cause the guy with the tie
Wasn’t there no more
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Years passed — spring and summer and winter and fall
Through life’s noisy and frivolous fracas
And my accountant wife doesn’t seem to recall
That I wasn’t her date at Fuddruckers
