To the Girl Sitting on Her Boyfriend’s Neck During This Entire Rock Concert
a rock ‘n roll rant with hidden Easter Eggs
Published in
2 min readMay 16, 2020
Your love handles are not the issue
Though they’re not what I came to see
I can barely spy the band
‘Round your backside’s periphery
Oh, sweet child of mine
Do you have to let it linger?
Must you be the only one
Eye-level with the singer?
You been gettin’ jiggy with
That junk inside your trunk
Even flow of lilac wine
Enough to make you drunk?
You think you got moves like Jagger
(This is it boys, this is war)
No more mister nice guy —
I swear, you’re gonna hear me roar!
No more pa-pa-poker face
I’ve had it up to here
Step back from that ledge my friend
Before you spill that beer
Your beast of burden’s sagging
Beneath your weight and girth
At least take off that shirt and bra
And give us our money’s worth …!
