You Don’t Love Coffee

Selene Bey
Oct 19 · 2 min read

Oh! you drink it from an exclusive and ridiculously expensive cup — do you? Special beans crushed by dancing pixies
on the summit of Mount Froufrou!
Served by an “Artisanal barista” with ‘responsibly’ manicured nails.
Brought to your table by a team of specially trained,
well-read, culturally enlightened snails!

YOU DON’T LOVE COFFEE

It’s not just the origin and the receptacle
which are the cause of such a spectacle,
it’s the unnecessary use of the Nasa thermometer
to monitor the degree of heat in every single drip
of unicorn flavoured coffee you’re just about to sip.

YOU DON’T LOVE COFFEE

Love — is filling up the thermos
your dad has kept for twenty years
with an inaccuracy that would make
‘artisanal barista’ flee in tears!

Love — is drinking it straight
from an old two-liter water-bottle
on days spent under the car,
changing the oil, or even the throttle!

Love — is heating it to vaporize
every taste bud on your tongue.
No need to make it exactly as warm
as a bilingual squirrel’s bum.

Love — is being able to prepare it
anywhere and at any time of day.
If you love coffee, keep it
real and very simple.
That’s all I have to say.

No Crime in Rhymin’

poetry that dares to be funny, edgy, irreverent

Thanks to Joe Váradi

Selene Bey

Written by

Words inspired by photographs

No Crime in Rhymin’

poetry that dares to be funny, edgy, irreverent

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