Beginnings Aren’t For Beginners…Meh.

I want so many things for myself. More than just love, money, material things; I want to feel successful in a well-rounded way. I want to have a career that I’m proud to showcase, and also proud to collect a check from. Getting there, I know, is not as easy as wanting it, you have to work for it. I do believe that nothing worth having comes easily — it may seem like it, but that’s just because the work you put into it doesn’t feel like work, probably because you enjoy it! Working in something I enjoy is probably the only goal I have right now that’ll affect my future. As that’s so bold, I know it’s going to take a lot of work just building myself up to what that even is!

To get me on the right track, I have thought about reading books about some habits or lifestyle changes that can help me get there. On a whim, that felt more like a siren call from the universe, when I ran into Barnes & Noble recently (and subsequently wrote about), on the discount shelf in the entryway there was a copy of No Excuses: The Power of Self-Discipline, by Brian Tracy. The title grabbed my attention immediately, and the sage adult voice in my head was like, “Look, man, that’s what I’ve been saying, but you won’t listen. Buy it!”. Because it was a “healthy impulse” buy, I parted with the extra eight bucks and took it home, determined to zip through it. It sat, as most of my ideas do, on my desk gathering dust and gnawing at me until I could no longer avoid it. Finally, I picked it up and took up the task to at least start reading.

I decided that I will tackle one chapter a day for the next 21 days, for two reasons: 1) I can totally read this 285-page book in three weeks; and B) the superscript on the front cover says, “21 ways to achieve lasting happiness and success”. Kinda solves my problem… So committed am I, that today I went to Target to buy a cork board to pin all the ideas and visions I have to it so that it’s above my computer and thus unavoidable to me everyday. (Trust me, a lot gets lost in my head!). While I’ll read a chapter a day, I will do the post-chapter exercises and offer a write up to this new Medium publication to keep me honest, and to also look back to when I’m done.

A project to help me narrow down my projects, while also doing other projects, yup sounds like me; except I lack the self-discipline to turn the projects into achievements.

So, this book. I digested the Introduction and Chapter 1, which was titled “Self-Discipline and Success” the day before yesterday, and last night, respectively. It’s not hard to see that the book breaks down self-discipline into smaller parts and pairs those parts with broader concepts like success, character, happiness, etc. Upon first reading the intro and first chapter, I’m finding the writing to be a little sophomoric, but I’m holding out hope that that is for a reason. I’d like to hope that Brian Tracy’s purpose is to make all the lessons and conclusions he draws easy to find. His main theme, so far, is that anyone can be successful, because success is self-defined; and also that the world is split into people who do the things they don’t like but have to do, and those who look for pleasure first. (Think, dinner before dessert people). Duh. I mean, I definitely think about chocolate cake before I think about quinoa and veggies. There’s a lot of outside quotation or anecdotal evidence to prove his own conclusions, but I’m going to assume for now that Brian Tracy’s declarative statement privileges come from his long career of success in business. Admittedly, I had no real idea who this guy was before picking his book up, but despite him being on the bargain rack, he’s got a lot of books, seminars, programs, etc. to show his “success-building” chops.

Despite all this simplicity, however, I’m interested to see where the book goes. Breaking things down makes them easier to understand, and I’m not too elitist or proud to admit that digesting a broad concept that everyone knows about in smaller doses helps me understand them better. I know I need to cultivate greater self-discipline if I’m going to find the thing that makes me happy doing it. So far, all I’ve “learned” (in quotes because I already knew that) is that discipline is formed by habit and right now my habits suck. I also learned that I certainly fall in the category of living on “Excuse Island”, a place where all the “I don’t wanna people” live, because I am the King of “I Don’t Wanna So Let’s Procrastinate”… After each chapter, like any good self-help book, there are exercises, and at the risk of sharing copyrighted material, here is what I worked out:

1. If your work life and career (the same thing…) were ideal, what would they look like? What one discipline could you develop that would help you achieve it?

Ideally, I’m a published author whose books and possibly recurring opinion column(s) are moderately consumed in the general public. On the side I work as a creative consulting, principally writing and editing for businesses who won’t or can’t hire full creative teams in house. To get there, I need to up the ante by like more than just a lot… I have piss-poor follow-through; over a thousand ideas, but no finished projects to show for it. So learning better follow-through on what I say I want for my career is the best discipline I can learn right now.

2. If your family life were ideal, what would it look like, and what one discipline would help you the most to make it a reality?

I prefaced my response to this by first saying, “I’m already married, so right now it is ideal, love it!” So the next logical step for us is kids. We both want a family to pass on what we’ve learned and what we love about each other, but to get there, I need to nip the nascent Peter Pan Syndrome growing inside me and grow the f*** up. I can only be the reliable and financially stable father I want to be if I get my career in line, so follow-through is the new discipline here.

3. If your health were perfect in every way, what disciplines (see where he’s going here?) would you have that make it possible?

I want a healthy BMI, weight, and diet; I want to live outside the extra risk zone because I’m under the critically overweight/obese sections. I need to commit to going to the doctor(s) regularly, yes even the optometrist, and get all my regular check ups and physicals, so that I can catch any bad things that flare up. More than anything, I need to stick to a healthy diet and exercise plan and stop yo-yoing. To get there, you guessed it, I need follow-through, but more than that, learning to consistently commit to healthcare and healthy lifestyle and not constantly seeing those two super important things as unnecessary burdens.

4. If your financial situation were ideal today, what one discipline would you have that would help you most?

I got the feeling by this question that Tracy’s assistant wrote these questions because they seem like they came off of a middle school dream board… Obvi I’d like a couple billion dollars so I can just let all my hair-brained projects have near-unlimited funding, but back to reality; ideally, I’ll have steady, reliable income from projects I’m fulfilled by. Like I said in my answer to #1, I’ll be published and consulting out in a creative capacity. In my life, I’ve learned, when I have money, I’m golden — I have few worries, I spend what I want, and I save as much as I can. When I don’t I flail around and worry too much, and make knee-jerk reactions. I need to ensure reliable income, and then stick to a budget. So that discipline is the adult-like long-term planning, not just relying on big dumps of cash to float myself for a while.

5. Why aren’t you already as successful as you’d like to be? (Yup, he went there).

Succinctly, my follow-through sucks! …like I said… But, even more so, following through on what my goals even are. At one point I wanted to be a realtor, then I wanted to start a property management business, next it was government work, then I wanted to write alternate history novels, now I want to write regular stuff and get people to read it. If I saw even one of those goals through to a conclusion, I probably wouldn’t be writing about this book I’m reading. I’ll decide later if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

6. What one skill could you develop that would help you realize more of your goals?

I need to understand basic coding and web design more. (I even bought a book on it once and like most things, it’s on a shelf doing nothing…). Overall, I need a better grasp on the back-en operations of online presence management, not so I can get into the tech game, but so that I can take my strength as a writer, and be more relevant in a marketing role.

7. If you could wave a magic wand (I abhor that phrase) and be completely disciplined in one area (not that worst “and” after that phrase), which one would have the greatest impact on your life?

I don’t want to sound redundant and say “follow-through”, but more broadly, I need to have better commitment. Commitment to my goals, my projects, my colleagues. I need to channel the commitment I’ve shown my husband in our relationship and work that into my career. If I habitual committed to doing what I say I want to do, then my life would be so much better!

Brian Tracy started this book out by saying that success is defined as whatever we say it is for ourselves, but also by saying that we live in excuses which are veiled ways of saying that we just “don’t want to”. Well, I still don’t want to, but I also want to be successful, which for me is achieving a career that’s fulfilling personally as well as financially. So, I’m going to give up the “I don’t wannas”, and commit to reading this book, writing about it, and reflecting, in the hopes I get more than just twenty or so write ups about a book I read once. Here’s to finding “lasting happiness and success”!