Fear, Bullheadedness, & Other Drugs
Chapters 6 & 7 were incredible short, and rounded out the first section of No Excuses; so I read them together, and will do a short write up — and get myself back on track for on-time completion! Chapter 6 is titled, “Self-Discipline & Courage”; while Chapter 7 was titled “Self-Discipline & Persistence”. These two concepts, unsurprisingly, go very well together. Also unsurprisingly, these two chapters offered no real sections that I could draw any issue with, as the concepts of courage and persistence are relatively neutral; and still very desirable to have. Brian Tracy argues that as it relates to self-discipline, these two concepts are essential, and form the backbone to proper execution. (He teases at the end of chapter 7, just before the start of the next section that real-world application skills will be introduced).
Tracy starts Chapter 6 with a quote from Mark Twain in which he indicates that courage is not the absence of fear but is in fact the mastery of fear. I get behind that, the argument about having courage is living with fear instead of without. Overcoming fears and all that jazz. While the title says courage, this chapter was really about fear, and what it takes to rise above it. I don’t think I’m unique in my fears, nor do I claim to be fearless. Brian says that the only way to master our fears is to take “disciplined, purposeful action in the direction of our goals”. Thus, we must live with and essentially become numb to it. Not much else to discuss on that really…
Talking about persistence directly after courage/fear was shrewd. He’s just laid out what you must do to avoid being crippled by fear. But how do you do that? Easy, you doggedly persist. You don’t just necessarily overcome your fears and obstacles, but you accept them too. Brian talked about being proactive versus reactive, which is something I want and try to project but I often fail to implement those practices when it comes to real life. I’ve felt that I’ve let my work in sale and real estate, as well as my writing projects kind of pass me by without taking real proactive charge over my life. I’m working on all of that now, but reading about just doing it, over and over again, until it becomes habit is always helpful encouragement. (Oh my god, I’m totally drinking this man’s Kool-Aid!!).
Not just in these chapters, but throughout the entire first section I noticed some key hot-button words that appeal to a salesperson: unstoppable, limitless, fearless, attainable, optimistic. All of which are good words, and words we should repeat to ourselves, but the level to which they are shouted in groupthink sales organizations relentlessly! Words such as that are meant to motivate people to “get there”, just to get to the next level. I’m allowing myself to go with this rapid flow, but I’m using this time now to stay aware that I can’t get too sucked-in into one man’s opinion on success.
Oftentimes, though, I wish I could win the lottery so I can take most worry off my plate — so that I don’t have to repeat words like unstoppable and attainable, because working hard and stay positive all the time is exhausting. I know that’s false home, but indulge me for a few seconds.
The post-chapter questions after “Persistence” were simply calls to action to commit again to the greater goals we wrote down for ourselves in Chapter 4; the thought-provoking scenarios in Chapter 6 were interesting, but before I share those I have one remark. I want to know once and for all who invented the 100-dial day in sales? If it was Brian Tracy, I swear that I’ll find him and say mean things, because as the name implies, dialing a phone 100 times a day to help “overcome the fear of rejection” (phone reluctance) is awful. All it does is drain your mind of being able to do anything but drink beer or do drugs, which is why I’ve met so many salespeople who party way to hard for a Wednesday.
And so, the questions:
Identify your three biggest fears in life, right now. What are they?
Aside from irrational fears, I have a few professional fears. Professionally, I’m afraid of rejection, failure as it relates to setting out to do something, and never amounting to anything in life.
Determine what you would do in each of those situations if you were guaranteed of complete success. What actions would you take?
I wrote, “SKY’S THE LIMIT!”, which was meant as half-true and half in gest. Ultimately to overcome what I’m afraid of, I’d be creating for myself and earning a keep off it. I wouldn’t answer to anyone but those who shared in my success.
What have you always wanted to do but have been afraid to attempt? What would you do differently if you were guaranteed success?
Somewhat unrelated to the solutions above, but if we’re dreaming here, I’d get into voice acting and comedy. I think I’m funny, but I recoil when people don’t. My fear of rejection is very debilitating when it comes to these closely-guarded dreams of mine. If I was guaranteed to succeed, though, I’d hit the nightclubs right now with my stand-up routines and improv; and I’d start going to auditions for voiceover roles. Maybe one day…who knows?
In what three areas of life and work do you most experience the fears of failure and loss? What steps could you take immediately to confront and eliminate those fears?
“Life and work” was such a broad opener, but I beat myself up pretty hard, regularly. My ego’s pretty big, but I’m the first one to start an internal diatribe after I mess up. Failure and loss come for me in my personal projects and ambitions, my overall career thus far, and my education. I feel like up until now, I’ve been “I don’t wanna”-ing through my projects. I’ve flopped around trying to “find myself” in my career. And I got a degree in something that I thoroughly enjoyed learning about, but hardly use at work. When I comes to things I can do to eliminate fears, the only thing I could think to write were, “doggedly persist” and “read books like this”. Seems about right.
Following in the vein above: Where do you most feel fear of criticism, rejection, and embarrassment?
I couldn’t pick just three areas. What I did say is that I feel those things kind of everywhere. I keep telling myself that it’s all part of learning and that my 20s are meant to figure things out, but I just deflate in the face of all of that. Building myself back up, or not deflating in the first place, is my big new challenge!
What one great goal would you set for yourself if you knew you could not fail?
(I enjoyed this question, the dreamer in me took flight!) I would write and star in a TV comedy show, kind of a cross between a sketch show and a Parks and Recreation/Office type get up. I want to write about and make real life funny, and who knows better to act out what ideas you have in your head than you??
What would you do differently in life if you had $20million in the bank, but only ten years to live?
(Another place for a dreamer to thrive). I’d first ensure that my husband was respectably set up with some nest-egg capital to live comfortably for the remainder of his life. I’d then wipe my parents’ and brother’s debts out. Then I would invest in my best friend’s nascent events production business and have her name something after me. Next, I would self-publish everything that I wanted to be out there in the universe, without fear of reprisal. The remainder of my time would be spent travelling the world with my husband, spending about anywhere from a month to an entire quarter in a different country, writing all the while. My dying wish would be for my memoirs to be published posthumously and read either on TV or a Facebook Live stream, hopefully going viral! …Why be modest if you’re dead?
This was a decent section, and laid some key philosophical ideas in front of me that I’m still chewing on. I agree with most of them, and have gotten most of my issues out in the open. I’m looking forward to seeing how the rest of No Excuses plays out! To wrap up this write up though, I’ll leave with a quote: “Self-discipline is persistence in action”. I’ll persevere and kick the crap out of the rest of the book!
I picked up Brian Tracy’s No Excuses, and have decided to learn something about self-discipline. This page is going to keep me honest (mostly) as I tackle this book over the next 21 days! This is Day 6 of 21.
