The World is Full of Characters!
I tackled the second chapter yesterday with a little more purpose than I did the Introduction and the first chapter, I think because it was in the middle of the first two sections that I decided to work out a write up for each. Before I dive into what “Self-Discipline & Character” was like, I want to proudly say that the cork board I bought at Target yesterday is up on the wall and covered with all the on-going projects I have as well as the few short term goals I’ve set out to achieve. (Reading one new book per month isn’t hard, since I’ve been pretty much doing that all year as it is; and writing 1000 words a day is also something that I’ve — mostly — been doing since August 15!). Hold all applause until the end of this entry :)
And so, Chapter Two, aptly titled “Self-Discipline & Character”. Brian took me through the wringer on this one…really it was just me reading so much of myself into this chapter. I feel like my father could have written this. For years while growing up, I was constantly receiving lessons about my character. What to do, what not to do. What’s acceptable (nothing), what’s unacceptable (everything). One turn of phrase that he did use often was path of least resistance, which he often used in reference to other people’s behavior, and this was all over this chapter. What my father meant as saying that sometimes taking the easier way when dealing with difficult people, is the opposite of what Brian Tracy wants us to think of it as.
Brian’s saying here that to take the path of least resistance is the cardinal sin of cutting corners to get to pleasure faster, as opposed to working through what you need to work through methodically and correctly. In all, Brian wants us to avoid the easy way out as it relates to all things.
What struck me most, I think, was early on in the chapter where he quoted character as being the “sum total of choices and decisions” tested under pressure throughout our lives. Certainly not a grand conclusion I haven’t heard before (and still this book doesn’t read like something I haven’t heard before) but I very much said, “Well, damn” to myself when I read it. Well, because, yeah. No decision you make is ever in isolation for long, and eventually the bad choices you made catch up — like how when you wake up overweight one day you’re like, “How did this happen?? Oh yeah, cheesecake”.
Unsurprisingly, Brian links character with integrity, which as you know is the “tested under pressure” part, and then loops in emulating people you admire who share similar values. Ultimately, he concludes that having good self-discipline means have a strong character, which means being consistent in doing the right thing. I mean, well, duh, but how often do I/we actually think about times when we don’t “do the right thing”? Did you boob out in front of Netflix rather than folding laundry? Do you hate your job, but aren’t working toward finding a new one? Do you make excuses when you don’t keep promises to yourself? …yeah, so do I. Again, nothing phenomenally profound, but Brian Tracy is definitely telling me about myself.
He talked at length about personality, and how your self-ideal (perfect self), self-image (how we view ourselves), and self-esteem (how much we live ourselves) relates to character. Bad personality, bad character. Each aspect feeds each other, obviously, but I remember taking notes asking, “Are these two things really so closely connected?”. I don’t really know the answer to that question yet, here’s hoping I figure it out!
Before I jump into my post chapter exercise questions, I’ll share this quote with you that in my humble opinion probably could have served in place of the whole chapter, “Whenever you exercise self-discipline and will-power to live your life consistently with those values that you most aspire to be known for, you begin to move rapidly along the path to becoming an excellent person”.
1. Name three people, living or dead, who you most admire and describe one quality of each of them that you respect. *Eye roll of the century*
Admittedly, I had a hard time coming up with three people, not because I found that there weren’t many, quite the opposite. It was that when I thought about the reasons why I admired them, I realized it was because something they did made me feel happy. What I did write was:
Aasim (my husband), because he is the archetype of the compassionate worker bee; he doesn’t cut corners, does what he needs to do, and doesn’t need to be thanked for him completing his tasks. Also, people adore him, without fail! I have (probably more than) a few people who’d rather not break bread with me, and as I’ve said, I’m great at cutting corners…
Lady Gaga (hold all the scoffs), but legitimately, I love what she stands for in terms of artistic integrity and social responsibility. She’s not successful just because she’s wealthy, or vice versa, but she embodies the alternative, woke, expressive person I want to be!
And finally…IDFK…when I cut out actors, actresses, politicians, historical figures — all because holes could be cut into their characters, or I didn’t know them well enough to make a judgement one way or the other — I was left with just an amalgam of people who individually represent all the things that matter to me now. Things like open-mindedness, hardworking, humility, so yeah.
2. Determine the most important virtue or quality in your life that you strive the most to practice or emulate.
What I try the most at is staying honest, because above all else, I personally value, but karma and society value trustworthiness. What I want most is consistency and industriousness — just produce like a factory!
3. Identify those situations in which you feel the most confident, in which you feel like the very best person you could possibly be.
I feel the most confident when I receive praise for a job well-done. After I’ve put in long hours of hard work, getting the validation from my peers and/or superiors makes me feel like I’m at the top of my game! Whether it’s cooking a huge meal and hearing a chorus of “Yum!”, or when I complete a giant to-do list, the validation of knowing someone noticed my work is all worth it.
4. What situations give you your greatest feelings of self-esteem and personal worth?
Completion of something. When I put the time into some project and I finish and turn back and survey what I’ve done, I feel most valuable to society. This is especially when whatever it is I’ve done makes someone’s day easier or better.
5. If you were already an excellent person (ouch) in every respect, how would you behave differently from today onward?
Like I’ve been saying like a broken record, I would follow-through on all plans and promises. My words would match my actions and I’d be seen as a source of encouragement and help toward others.
6. What one quality would you like people to think of when your name is mentioned, and what could you do to ensure this happens?
I want people to see me as reliable. Reliable as a friend, worker, ideas man, partner, (soon to be) father, shoulder to lean on, etc. I don’t want people to say amongst themselves, “Oh Shawn’s great, but…”. To get them there, I feel like small picture, I need to just complete one thing and share it to the world; big picture, just grow up, Shawn, and get disciplined!
7. In what one area do you need to be more truthful and practice higher levels of integrity than you do today?
The answer to this question was easy. I need to put the answer to number 4 into practice, now. And I’d like to think that I am just by reading this book, and writing this 21-day long book report. (Don’t grade me too harshly). Eventually I’ll be able to replicate this for any idea I have moving forward, or so I hope.
My overall take away about character; which is a sore subject for me because while I think I have an overall nice character, I need to grow up and improve, is mostly duh, but character is something we need to examine often. When you’re honest with yourself and you realize that your personality sucks, and thereby (according to this chapter) your overall character sucks, you’ll never be truly “self-disciplined” — or so Brian’s telling me. I challenge my own view of my character often because I feel I’m not living up to my full potential. He mentioned in the chapter that we do (and should) “dwell on what grows”… I rubberband back to the negative self-image too often, I need to keep focused on the positive by breaking the simple things down more, kind of like Brian did here. We’ll see how I do I guess.
I picked up Brian Tracy’s No Excuses, and have decided to learn something about self-discipline. This page is going to keep me honest (mostly) as I tackle this book over the next 21 days! This is Day 2 of 21.
