Getting Through Role Play Exercises in the Classroom
Role play exercises suck, they really really suck. I hate that feeling of going through an exercise which is clearly not real in my own mind. I end up feeling stupid and self conscious. Added to that the crippling anxiety at the thought of doing a practical exercise when it is new to me — it feels like hell.
Nobody likes doing role play, and anyone who says they do enjoy it are sick individuals or just straight up lying. You ever notice that when you are in a classroom setting and the teacher says, “let’s do some role play”…there is always that awkward sideways look at each other. Nobody offers to sacrifice themselves, there is an awkward silence which fills the room.
Going through my therapy degree at the moment, role play is part of the course — a big part of it. Recently I had the joy of experiencing my first role play sessions and I figured I would share the rollercoaster ride so far.
The First Session
The first session in the module, and it was a nightmare. A real nightmare that I couldn’t escape from. The session last 15 minutes and we divide up into groups of three. Each person rotates around with a role of therapist, client and observer.
The first session I was feeling the nerves, feeling the anxiety. Sitting in a room which looks like a real therapist room with a “client” sitting opposite me. Hell yes I struggled, big time!
I completely froze up in that first 15 minutes. I couldn’t stay focused or engaged with the narrative of the session. Active listening went out the window. There was a pause and I had no idea what to say. I tried filling the silence with pressing questions and pure rubbish.
Riddled with anxiety and nerves, I fell apart. Now I would have really beat myself up over that in the past. I would have beat myself down with negative self-talk. I would have told myself that I’m not good enough straight away.
The Lessons Learned
A big difference between then and now is that while I was on the edge of being too harsh with myself, this time I was also compassionate with myself. A true sign of progress with that self-love I have struggled to show myself for such a long time.
I was able to take away lessons from that first session despite how anxious I felt and how bad the session felt. I could see where I would be able to adjust and improve. I knew I needed to go away and watch a few recorded therapy sessions, take some notes on what I saw in those sessions and work on grounding myself.
As hard as it felt taking that loss, I was able to see how things could and would improve and how I could work on things to make it better going forward. I also reminded myself of something very important — it was my very first role play session. It was the first of many.
The Bounce Back
The second session in the next class and I won’t lie, I was feeling just as nervous and anxious going into it. Maybe even a little bit more nervous and anxious the second time around because I felt that if it all went wrong again that my confidence would take a massive hit.
So despite being more compassionate towards myself, I knew that I would really feel my confidence shatter if there was no sign of recovery or improvement at all. The biggest fear I had going into that second session was, “What if I have a second session which is just as bad as the first?”
The good news is that I absolutely nailed the second session and it felt so good. I was literally buzzing afterwards and that is a great feeling to have, especially when I hate role play sessions so much.
I was able to slow my mind down, track the narrative of that session and engage those active listening skills I knew I had from my time in the London Ambulance Service. Everything felt slower, I felt like I was in control of the session and I felt in control of myself.
I was able to be supportive, ask questions without being as direct as the first time around. I was able to show that empathy and care that I failed to do in the first role play session.
On top of that, we had a fishbowl session which was just as anxiety inducing. It is basically a session where our lecturer assumes the client role and we go around the room with everyone taking turns to be the therapist for 5 minutes each and picking up the session where the last persons left off.
Doing that fishbowl in front of the entire class and nailing that was another massive win.
Final Thoughts
I felt it was important for me to share this to show that despite the challenges anxiety and fear can throw up, it genuinely isn’t the end of the world and should not define who you are.
If I had let that first session really get to me and get inside my head, I could have ended up going in a completely different direction. However it is important to show self-compassion and take lessons from those experiences which you can bring forward with you.
Anxiety is tough to cope with, it is difficult to deal with. But it should not define who you are.
