Learn to say goodbye to the things that don’t belong anymore

Gabrielė Jašinskaitė
No Pants Office
Published in
5 min readJun 23, 2021

People often make comparisons between new beginnings and new years. The new year is a time for people to cleanse themselves. Everything is done for the greater good. This year, I’m going to be different; I’m going to choose the people I want to be around; I’m going to say goodbye to my last cigarette, my last whiskey, and a slew of other things… Is it really necessary to wait till the new year to make a change, to say our goodbyes?

No, I do not believe that is true. We don’t have to wait for new years to make a change. Saying goodbye to things that are dear to us or to which we have an addiction makes it ten times more difficult, but if doing so would allow you to have a brighter future than ever before, go for it! I understand that talking is easy, but doing is difficult. However, in this world, nothing is impossible; if you decide to do anything, you will!

Here are some things that all of us have to understand about saying goodbyes:

1. Some people don’t belong in your life

Some people are either too poisonous to be in your life, or simply aren’t the right fit for you, even though you’ve known one other for years. It makes no difference whether it’s your lover, husband, friend, neighbor, family member, or anyone else. You must signal when it is appropriate to say your goodbyes. It will hurt, of course, it will, letting go of someone who used to be a huge part of your life, will definitely leave some footprints in your heart. Golden rule: the longer you wait the harder it will be. Take the courage to do it now, leave the shadow behind and move forward. I am confident that the universe will reward those who are daring.

2. It’s okay to change your job

People frequently labor in places where they do not belong in order to make a living. Then there are those who adore their profession but must say their goodbyes due to life’s circumstances. I’m not sure which is more difficult: finding the fortitude to leave a job you despise or leaving a job you adore. It’s difficult in both respects, but each in its own manner. By saying goodbye to the job you hate, will give you a headache, you will be left wondering ‘’What’s next?’’ it will not allow you to relax. Then again, if you found the courage to leave the previous job, you will get the courage to find the new one- the better one! The same goes for your dream career; even if you think it’s the best job you’ve ever had, don’t be scared to stand out and try something new. Maybe your soul is starving and you need to travel, or maybe you need to move out with your significant other, then go for it! Nothing, not even tomorrow, is guaranteed. Go for it if your heart desires it.

3. Someone moving away- or physical death

Sometimes we can’t avoid it, because saying goodbye is a formal way of indicating that something has come to an end. It also prepares us for a period of separation, whether that separation is figurative death-such as someone moving away-or physical death. The fact that we believe in a magnificent ‘other side’ of death does not negate the fact that death exists, but it does provide us with a fresh perspective on the separation.

4. Changing your living place

Imagine living somewhere for 20 or more years and then being forced to leave unexpectedly. Crazy! Isn’t that so? Garden, orchard, and backyard swings that formerly appeared insignificant will now stir your emotions. You’ll be disappointed to realize there will be no more gardening, swinging, or karaoke evenings in your backyard with your neighbors, but guess what? That’s how life is and that’s totally fine! In your new home, you will create fresh, wonderful memories; the most essential thing is to create those memories with your loved ones; everything else is secondary.

5. Throw things that are very old

That teddy bear your parents got you when you were six years old is now in the closet, or your car, which you’ve been driving since you were eighteen, is parked in your garage, hardly running. They are ready to be sold or thrown away, but you are unable to do so because they are too important to you. It’s fine to be devoted to certain things, but everything eventually comes to an end. For example, the car in the garage could be quite useful for someone who does not have the financial means to purchase a new, nice vehicle. Even if they are important to you, let them go and assist them in reviving with the support of others, for they may be useful to someone else.

6. Say goodbye to bad habits

There are several harmful habits, such as, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, speed, they all have a negative impact on you, even though it feels great at some point, it won’t feel the same later. It might be one of the hardest goodbyes that you will have to say. Addiction is a tremendous force, but with a strong willpower, anything is possible. If you can’t do it on your own, seek aid from a therapist who will gladly assist you. All you have to do now is take the first step toward a brighter future by saying goodbye to the things in your life that no longer serve you.

7. Say goodbye to your old version

It’s fine to alter your mind! To try something new. With confidence in your voice, say goodbye to your previous version. The new you will accomplish new feats. If those close to you leave you, it’s because you no longer please them; nevertheless, remember that it’s fine because you don’t have to! Make the finest version of yourself for yourself, not for others, and if they can’t manage the new you, it’s because they were never meant to be there for you.

Be glad for both what has come before and what is yet to come, and we attempt to remain unafraid of the abyss that exists between the two. We pray for forgiveness and provide it, trusting in mercy that extends to all. And we give words of encouragement and guidance to help prepare for the separation- a separation we hope will not be permanent.

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” — Semisonic

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We practice making better choices and accepting consequences on the Self Mentoring Guide along with establishing morning and evening routines that cover topics like distancing or disconnecting ourselves from toxic people, embracing failure, taking responsibility, making better choices, embracing change, managing finance, trusting your instincts, working on the trustworthiness of yourself and others along with many more topics. Check it out.

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