Teslagrad
More like electromagNOTism amirite?!
Teslagrad is a puzzle-platformer in which its puzzle-platforming is not the best thing about it.
This is not to say it has some sweet mechanic, some extra layer of goodness which is elevating a solid foundation. Regrettably, Teslagrad is a by-the-numbers indie title which is crucially hamstrung by the thing it should’ve nailed before anything else: its puzzle-platforming.
A brief overview, just to set the scene: Your avatar for this 4–5 hour jaunt is a young, nameless boy (yes, another one). He can run, he can jump, and he’ll pick up new toys over the course of his adventure, each with their own special little trick. These’ll expand your abilities and range of movement, allowing access to new areas, blah blah blah. It all sounds a bit Metroidvania, doesn’t it? But it’s not. Despite the trappings, it’s all rather linear, with very little backtracking. Instead, it focuses on funneling you through numerous puzzle rooms, challenging you to traverse them with its Unique Selling Point: electromagnetism.
You use your magnet-powers to alter the polarity of set objects (blue for one, red for the other). Charge two nearby boxes, and they act like you’d expect: the colours match, they repel; they differ, they attract. A bit later, you’ll also get the power to charge yourself. In practice, this means you’ll be moving stuff around to negotiate mazes, and flinging/sticking yourself to walls and ceilings. It’s actually a really neat mechanic, and the kind of thing which these indie titles sink or swim on.
Which makes it all the more frustrating that they got it so, so wrong.
For starters, your character feels weightless. Intangibly so. I’d have better luck directing a balloon through a basketball hoop with a fucking wind turbine than have this guy fling himself through the air and actually land where I wanted him to. You’d better have preternaturally precise control over that analogue stick, man, or you’ll be straight-up murdering this little guy a lot. He’s so cute, too, you MONSTER…
As if that wasn’t bad enough, coupled to that is the attract/repel system. I can run over a blue platform, charge myself red to fling myself away from it and get a different angle of ascent each time. If the actual act of platforming wasn’t especially demanding, I could understand. But for a game that very often requires you be particularly precise, it’s inexplicable to have a traversal system that’s simply not fit for purpose.
And believe it or not, that’s not even the biggest problem. This Magneto fantasy that the game hangs on...it deserves better puzzles. Even aside from the control problems, the fact that most rooms won’t even make you pause for thought is really disappointing. The trials found within the best puzzle games make you doubt your intelligence/sanity when you’re stumped, then, once cracked, feel like Tony Stark on a good day (that is to say, really really smart, not a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist). Even when you do take more than a few minutes, too often it’s a wrestling match with those fucking controls that’s holding you back. Hyperbole aside, there’s one single, solitary puzzle that made me congratulate the game out loud (it involves a big gear), while a few others rose above the rest of the dreck. That’s simply not good enough.
Not among that shortest of lists are the boss battles, though it’s ultimately an additional frustration that pains the most here. You’re a fragile wee thing, having just one little hit point, which in itself isn’t necessarily a bad mechanic. Plenty of games use it, and use it well. But when the fights are pure trial and error, another scrap with the controller, or (worst of all) sheer dumb luck, being one-shotted is infuriating. Again, there are some nice ideas on display that make interesting use of your powers, but they’re just not executed in an intelligent way.
I’ll cease fire for a bit. Despite everything I’ve said, Teslagrad has things going for it, primarily from a presentation perspective. It’s actually kind of charming, so much so I found myself willing it to improve because I didn’t want it to fail. It’s pretty rather than gorgeous, with some nice French/Scandanavian(?) style on display, even if the rudimentary animation seems to sell it a bit short. Best of all, though, are the occasional mechanical puppet theatres you’ll come across, telling the story of how the land came to be at war, and particularly of a feud between the King and some sort of Head Wizard. They’re stunningly created, and a genuine reward for slogging through particularly tiresome sections.
It’s mostly forgiving of failure, too (luckily), and understanding of your time. Everything’s split into reasonably compact rooms, and you’ll autosave at the entrance to every one (this also acts as the respawn for when the game’s physics engine decides it wants to launch you into an electric beam). While death may come all too swift and all too often, you’re very quickly back in among things (with a few exceptions, where you’ll needlessly repeat an unnecessary trek in the run-up to a set-piece). You’ll get through it on a day-off, or across a few short evening’s play. Something to consider, regardless of the game’s obvious shortcomings.
It’s a real shame that Teslagrad’s good points are so vastly outweighed by its problems. It feels so…earnest. I found myself rooting for it, despite everything. I was desperate for it to be better, lest I have to write mean things about it. Maybe that’s because it’s obviously been made on a limited budget, and with a small team. Without wanting to sound patronising, it’s got a real “The Little Game That Could” feel about it.
Except, it couldn’t.
And that really is unfortunate, because there truly is something in this. A complete control overhaul, a more creative puzzle-set and absolutely gallons of polish could’ve resulted in another memorable addition to this most staple of indie genres. But it’s missed the mark entirely. Aesthetics and an overarching narrative are important, but the best around (The Swapper, Braid etc.) succeeded because they nailed the basics as well. As it stands, Teslagrad will remain polarised from that group. Pretty, but not worth the punt.
