Joy is Gratitude

Abriel Siregar
No Wisdom Here
Published in
3 min readApr 28, 2024

After deep reflection, I’ve concluded that all my problems can be laid at the feet of Spider-Man. So when I see Tom Holland¹, it’s ‘on sight’ as the kids say.

See, a core idea of his comics is that privilege needs to be justified.

“With great power must also come great responsibility,” is a bastardization of the Bible’s “To whom much is given, much will be required.”

Well, as someone who has been dealt a better hand than they deserve, the fair cost of privilege is the unsolved equation that hangs over my head.

Some argue that gratitude is enough to separate privilege from entitlement. But what does gratitude look like?

The self-loathing, not fun at parties, part of me believes that gratitude should manifest itself as service and effort.

But I’ve been told by people, who get invited to more parties, that joy is the truest form of gratitude.

After all, can you be truly grateful if you are unhappy?

To that end, I do believe joy is one way that gratitude should manifest itself but, again, the masochist in me can’t accept joy alone as recognition of one’s privilege.

If Spider-Man used his powers in only a self-serving way, I don’t think any of us would accept him as a hero.

And to offer an example that not only 10-year-olds can resonate with, what do we expect from the wealthiest of the world — if not to also give back?

When I went on Pilgrimage, aside from praying that the Celtics² would win the NBA championship, I had to consider carefully the prayers I would make.

Often, people pray for wealth, but my mother told me to pray instead for the ability to give back.

The responsibility of receiving a blessing is to share it.

For example, if the blessing you have been afforded is love, then I think it’s also your responsibility to love others. Maybe tell your friend they look jacked or something.

Okay, so if joy is the 1st component and sharing with others is the 2nd, how else should gratitude manifest itself?

Self-actualization, is maybe a fair shout.

If you’re afforded the opportunities that most people aren’t, do you owe it to everybody else to make the most of them?

I guess — if you want to be annoying about it.

I mean, it’s certainly how I’m approaching life right now. I do feel a responsibility to, as much as possible, maximize the imaginary promise of my potential.

The problem is self-actualization is subjective. And in pursuing it, you run the risk of becoming the version of yourself you think other people want you to be.

And more specifically, in the context of gratitude, you run the risk of becoming the version of yourself you think the person you feel grateful to wants you to be.

If you feel grateful to your parents, for example, self-actualization may look like becoming the person they want you to be.

And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Your parents could want you to become Batman. In which case, you should do that.

However, in this scenario, there may be a situation where self-actualizing to prove you’re grateful makes you unhappy.

And so I ask again, what the cool kids would ask, can you be truly grateful if you are unhappy?

I don’t know.

But if you see me teaming up with the Green Goblin and Doctor Octopus, you’ll know why.

Thanks for reading and please love yourself!

  1. I know people love Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield, but I’m a big Tom Holland is Peter Parker guy
  2. I didn’t actually pray for the Celtics to win a championship — might regret it later though.

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Abriel Siregar
No Wisdom Here

Writes reflection pieces to hopefully make you laugh.