365 Days of Song Recommendations: July 12

Your Ex-Lover is Dead — Stars

There are some songs that root you to a time and a place, to the person you were in that moment, and to the people who defined a period of your life. Today’s song is twee as fuck, and it’s the perfect mood to define the context in which it resides in my memory.

In the summer of 2005, I began a Master of Fine Arts program in Brunswick, Maine. My music tastes were full-blown Pitchfork hipsterish indie rock — not much has changed, eh? — and one of the first friends I met at the program was our very own Jay Patrick. Naturally we bonded through music, and though we debated — a default state for both of us — we mostly shared tastes. Jay was a bit more synth-y at the time, but we found common ground in almost every direction.

I don’t recall exactly how we landed on the Montreal band’s Stars’ standout song, Your Ex-Lover Is Dead, but it became a defining song in our friendship. Not only did it inspire one of the better pieces I wrote during the program — I changed the title to Your Former Ex-Lover, a dark story about a bored, paranoid woman who thinks her husband’s ex lives in the next apartment over — it was also the catalyst for a tradition fifteen years running. Every December, Jay and I each share our Best Of lists for the year. Back then, the list only contained what fit on a CD, but now we’ve each pushed it around 100 tracks.

So back to Stars. The call-and-answer vocals between Broken Social Scene’s Amy Milan and Torquil Campbell just work, and together they capture to perfection the paranoia and bitterness that accompanies any unsettled break-up. It’s the sort of storytelling I’ve always been to — Richard Yates, Richard Ford, Richard Russo, all the fucking Richards — and it played as a soundtrack for all of my writing back then. It’s one of many songs that just shoot me back in time, a burst of nostalgia without the sadness that typically accompanies it.

Our very own Preacher Boy joined us in the program the following winter, and I’m fairly certain that his complete and total disdain for all things twee — including this song — led to yet another lifelong friendship.

So consider this: without Your Ex-Lover Is Dead, this year’s 365 Songs would have two fewer contributors.

When there is nothing left to burn
You have to set yourself on fire
God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said “yes I think we’ve met before”
In that instant it started to pour
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of that time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name
This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
You tried to reach deep but you couldn’t get in
And now you’re outside me you see all the beauty
Repent all your sin
It’s nothing but time and a face that you’ll lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn’t choose
I’ll write you a postcard, I’ll send you the news
From the house down the road, from real love
Live through this and you won’t look back
Live through this and you won’t look back
Live through this and you won’t look back
There’s one thing I want to say so I’ll be brave
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave
I’m not sorry I met you
I’m not sorry it’s over
I’m not sorry there’s nothing to save
I’m not sorry there’s nothing to save

This song is number 193 on the exclusive #365Songs playlist!