Ranking The Dwarves’ 11 Albums
Are the Dwarves the greatest band in the world? Well, that’s for you to decide. They are objectively one of the most controversial bands around though.
Forming in Chicago in the mid-80s, the band has always centered around singer Blag Dahlia and guitarist Hewhocannotbenamed with a rotating lineup of other members to round out the band such as Rex Everything, The Fresh Prince of Darkness, Salt Peter, Thrusty Otis, Whölley Smökkes, and countless others.
Their earlier shows were highlighted by fast and furious bangers while as the band aged, their sound shifted towards a more melodic state.
During their nearly 40 years of existence, the Dwarves have undergone a plethora of changes, but always managed to stay true their core ideals of offending everyone and never taking anything too seriously.
11. Horror Stories (1986)
The Dwarves debut, released nearly 40 years ago, sounds almost nothing like the rest of the band’s discography… and that’s a good thing. At this point, they were still figuring out their sound and the different member’s roles. Hewhocannotbenamed (who goes by “Peter Vietnamacheque” here) plays the keyboard rather than the guitar, and gives the album an overall low-budget, chaotic The Doors sound.
Blag (going by “Julius Seizure”) provides the guitarwork and shares vocal duties with Salt Peter and Sigh Moan.
Horror Stories is almost unrecognizable as a Dwarves record other than the occasional indulges into 50s/60s rock n’ roll, which has been present (to some regard) in all their releases since.
The songs have a very live feel to them, and I wouldn’t be surprised if all the instruments were recorded together. The vocals are generally quite rough and almost completely indiscernible for much of the album.
Overall, this album is a little tough to get through, and consequently, I only gave it a couple of listens. Most of the best songs are covers, but if you’re a devout Dwarves fan, you can find things to appreciate, even if there isn’t much special about this album.
Recommended Tracks: In and Out / Be a Caveman / Stop and Listen
10. Blood, Guts & Pussy (1990)
This was the album that set the blueprint for the style and identity of the Dwarves, as well as the record that really gained them their initial notoriety. In many ways, this is the actual debut release from the band, as it captured their more authentic sound.
Released in 1990, the album became a quick classic through its intense shock value approach. From the album’s name and cover art to the lyrical subject matter, this was a record that made no apologies in its direct approach to being offensive — really taking advantage of the “no rules” offered in the punk scene.
Compared to the debut, there’s a much better sense of melody, as can be heard on “Drug Store” and “Back Seat of My Car”, but the true intention seems to be to play the songs as fast as possible while offending as many people as they can.
Even though it’s a classic, the songs on Blood, Guts & Pussy are relatively one-dimensional (short and fast) and the whole thing clocks in at under 13 minutes. So, while I enjoy it, the band clearly had space to grow, which is precisely what they did. Like any good band, they continued to make even better records after this one.
Recommended Tracks: Drug Store / Back Seat of My Car / Motherfucker
9. Sugarfix (1993)
Sugarfix, the last Dwarves album to be released on Sub Pop, was more or less the end of the early version of the Dwarves, particularly regarding the production level.
The Dwarves early records were identifiably grungy (although still punk) in production, distinctly in the tone of guitars and bass. Sugarfix stands out as the bass is quite central in the mix, often driving the melody in many songs.
Compared to the band’s previous two albums, Sugarfix seems to apply the brakes a little and allow for some tempo variation. This lets the album breathe a little more and makes the longer songs fit in a bit better.
The band also used the album as a publicity stunt to announce the [staged] death of guitarist Hewhocannotbenamed. When Sub Pop learned it was staged, they dropped the band from the label which further pushed the image of the Dwarves being a band that simply doesn’t give a fuck.
Recommended Tracks: Anybody Out There / Bad Reputation / Cain Novacain
8. Thank Heaven For Little Girls (1991)
Fresh off the heels of the controversial Blood, Guts & Pussy, the Dwarves returned with the comparatively tame seeming Thank Heaven For Little Girls — an album containing much of the same elements of the previous album but with some more refined musicianship.
The album’s first three tracks (“Satan”, “Johnny Glue”, and “Speed Demon”) are all balls-to-the-wall, fast OG punk, but after that, the record gets a little more creative, starting with “Blood Brothers Revenge” which makes use of a little slide guitar. “Blag the Ripper” even begins with a slow, grueling intro before kicking up the BPM.
Thank Heaven For Little Girls was the first Dwarves release to show off the band’s ability to repurpose some classic Beach Boys-styled pop into punk music and to do it in a catchy fashion.
“Lucky Tonight” and even more so “Fuck Around” very purposefully recreate that safe 60s sound, but with offensive lyrics to create a nice juxtaposition.
Even though the second half of the album seems hellbent on throwing in as many ‘fucks’ as possible, giving the record a bit of an adolescent rebel vibe, Thank Heaven For Little Girls has still aged well as a straight-forward punk album.
Recommended Tracks: Blood Brothers Revenge / Blag the Ripper / Fuck Around
7. Concept Album (2023)
The Dwarves’ newest is (in many ways) a perfect entry point for new listeners of the band, as the album’s 20 songs serve as a great example of the group’s last 20+ years of output.
Despite the name, there’s not much of a concept on the album as the songs hit on pretty familiar territory for Blag and co — sex, drugs, etc — but they’re still performed with that signature Dwarves catchiness. Always avoiding landing directly into any one genre, the record ranges from metal to punk, all the way to straight-up pop music.
If you take a step back, this is clearly a quality album with a lot of good songs, but without any that particularly stand-out. When compared to the band’s other more recent output, something seems slightly off. There’s an overall lack of urgency throughout, despite some very high energy songs. One of the album’s biggest missteps is its general lack of flow, giving Concept Album more of a compilation feel rather than a record with clear sequencing.
At 37 minutes, this is the band’s longest record — significantly lengthier than most of their releases. At this length, it becomes clear that the Dwarves come across best when brevity is applied. Concept Album is the only release from the band where it starts to get a bit tiresome towards the end.
Ultimately, if the band had cut out some of the weaker tracks (like “Lean”, “Sixteen”, or “All For You”) and fleshed out some of the other songs, this could’ve gone from a good album to a great album.
Recommended Tracks: Voodoo / Do It All The Time / Roxette
6. Invented Rock & Roll (2014)
Another solid release from the band that won’t die, Invented Rock & Roll is the band’s second post-break album and a release that seems to have come about quite naturally as it infuses many of the band’s traditional styles without exploring too far outside of their regular comfort zone.
If I were to introduce the Dwarves to someone, I probably wouldn’t pick this album as the first to show them, but it’s still a great addition to the band’s already extensive catalog and an example of their unrelenting songwriting abilities.
Featuring some instant hits such as “Trailer Trash” or the catchy sock hop “Sluts of the USA” which combines the traditionally innocent doo-wop with the band’s signature offensive lyricism.
There are plenty of heavy-hitting tracks too, like the opener “Hate Rock” or “Get Up & Get High” or even the self-congratulatory “Gentleman Blag” (with the excellent Josh Freese providing vocals on the chorus).
This record comes across like the band had a lot of fun making it, and while it doesn’t revolutionize their sound at all, at 25 minutes, it’s a fun ride that never overstays its welcome.
Recommended Tracks: Trailer Trash / Sluts of the USA / Kings of the World
5. Take Back The Night (2018)
I was initially somewhat lukewarm on this album when it came out, but over the years I’ve come to find this as one of the best and most fun releases from the band.
This is probably the most straightforward rock-infused punk album from the Dwarves since their early 90s, showcasing the band’s excellent ability to insert classic rock riffs into mile-a-minute beats.
“Everything and Moore” and “It’s You I Don’t Believe” are up there with their fastest material, while the heavy “Nowhere Fast” has an excellent chorus where Blag delivers the lyrics with a guttural authenticity.
The album contains some classic Dwarves-style material with the pedo-voyeur “Here’s Looking At You” which is far catchier than it has any right to be. While the record is mostly non-stop thrashers, they do take a moment to slow things down a bit with the poppy “Trace Amounts” and “Julio” (the latter featuring Dexter Holland on backup vocals).
While the album is for the most part excellent from beginning to end, there are a couple of times where the band’s self-aware satire falls somewhat flat, most notably on the poorly written “Safe Space”.
Outside of a couple of weak moments, this is classic Dwarves and an excellent addition to their discography.
Recommended Tracks: Devil’s Level / Nowhere Fast / Here’s Looking At You
4. Come Clean (2000)
Following the band’s reinvention in 1997 with Are Young and Good Looking, the band returned with Come Clean and further pushed their newfound stylistic approach into somewhat of an ‘anything goes’ mentality.
While the majority of the album is still the catchy pop-punk that has become their calling card, they still tried to veer into unknown territory — most notably with the techno-industrial influenced “Over You”, a track that, to this day, still stands apart from pretty much everything else released in the punk scene.
Then, of course, you’ve got “Deadly Eye”, which begins as a fast punk song before morphing into a hip-hop-esque spoken word breakdown that eventually shifts into a thrashy nightmare full of blast beats.
At the album’s pinnacle, there’s “Accelerator”, an energy-soaked track that instantly provides an adrenaline rush (and just might be my favorite Dwarves song).
To round things out, you’ve got the surf-rock-inspired “Johnny On The Spot” which applies heavy reverb on the solo, and the closing track “Production Value” which even brings some countryfied-punk into the fold.
My only gripe is that after hearing the song “Better Be Women” so many times when I was younger, I now find the song to be an instant skip.
Recommended Tracks: Accelerator / Johnny On The Spot / Over You
3. Are Born Again (2011)
After a seven-year break, the Dwarves finally decided to return with the appropriately titled Are Born Again. Where some bands seem to stagnate and accrue rust after a more extended break, for the Dwarves, the years in between only seemed to reinvigorate them.
This is a record full of hit after hit. After the ambitious and highly adventurous Must Die, this album was more of a return to roots, focusing almost entirely on degrees of punk (from pop-punk to hardcore), with the only outlier being the bluesy rock “Candy Now”. The results are absolutely stunning. This is one of my favorite comeback records, as the band had clearly been cooking up these songs for a while rather than shipping out whatever they quickly wrote.
Much like the three records released before this one, the production is pristine, featuring that distinct wall-of-sound that still manages to come across as bright and crisp while avoiding the heavy gain pitfalls.
Spike Slawson (the vocal-enricher supreme) once again returns to provide some backup vocals. His presence is made very clear on 2 of the album’s best songs, “Happy Birthday Suicide” and “Working Class Hole”, the former featuring a guitar melody very reminiscent of Spike’s other band, Me First and The Gimme Gimmes.
Despite being the second-longest Dwarves record, there’s surprisingly no filler to be found. In fact, this is maybe the only Dwarves release that doesn’t feature at least one somewhat skippable song. They really went all-out in making a stellar release.
I’ve got it in third place, but Are Born Again contains a strong argument for being the Dwarves best album yet.
Recommended Tracks: Fake ID / Happy Birthday Suicide / Working Class Hole
2. Are Young and Good Looking (1997)
Whereas Blood, Guts & Pussy originally put the band on the map, Are Young and Good Looking was the album that solidified them as much more than just a one (or two) trick pony and proved them to be an actual band worthy of your attention.
After Sub Pop dropped the band in 93, they took a short break and returned with some new faces in the way of guitarist Wholley Smokkes and bassist Rex Everything. These two significantly helped usher in the band’s new approach to songwriting.
Released on Epitaph (as well as Theologian & Recess), the band joined a roster of fellow punk bands and fittingly changed up their production style to match the popular Cali skate punk of the era. The new sonic approach helped give the songs a much bigger sound while allowing the more improved musicianship to shine.
Blag noticeably refined his vocals, showing off a much more extensive range, and Spike Slawson joined in to give many of the vocals a richer sound (his personal forte).
The record is predominately made up of fast, in-your-face punk tracks with very little room for breathers, but it does close with a bit of divergence in the bluesy number “You Gotta Burn” — a nice preview of the stylistic variety that was yet to come.
Over the years, this has become a classic, but it’s not without areas it could improve. The percussion is quite lackluster and repetitive (really standing out compared to the rest of the talented musicianship) and the quasi-intermission track “Hits” is mostly a throwaway.
If you like fast, offensive, and raucous-centric punk music with a little bit of a twist, look no further than this banger of an album.
Recommended Tracks: I Will Deny / The Crucifixion Is Now / You Gotta Burn
1. Must Die (2004)
A lot of times, when bands try to get really stylistically ambitious, it often comes off as gimmicky, but in the Dwarves case — they clearly poured so much effort into this record that I can’t help but love the end result.
While some punk purists likely hate this record and lament the band’s change of sound from their early 90s days, if you’re open to more than just straight-up punk, Must Die represents a plethora of styles and does it in amazing fashion.
With a bevy of guests in tow, Must Die takes you on a musical journey through hardcore, hip-hop, metal, pop, pop-punk, and a bunch of other genres for good measure. And, by bringing aboard drummer extraordinaire (The Black) Josh Freese to handle the skins, there’s a guarantee that no beat is missed and everything flows together exquisitely.
Tracks like “Massacre” and “Demented” provide some surprisingly excellent hip-hop, while “Salt Lake City” and “Runaway #2” supply that uber-catchy pop-punk the band had been experimenting with prior.
If you’re missing the pedal-to-the-metal fast punk, there’s “Dominator”, “Relentless”, “Another Classic”, or “Downey Junior”. There’s even a Hives-like track in “Like You Want”. Then, of course, there’s my favorite on the album, “Christ On A Mic”, a track that begins with a vocal choir and a church organ before exploding into all-out insanity.
The musicianship is excellent, and the production is again stellar — the Dwarves really manage to obtain a sound that borrows from many while still coming across completely unique.
This album maybe isn’t for everyone, but for those who appreciate stylistic variety done well… you’ll love it.
Recommended Tracks: Christ On a Mic / Salt Lake City / Massacre
