You

You are the brightest light in this dark and cold place. I am dead inside yet knowing you makes me feel so alive.

I have never met someone like you for a decade. Last time I recall tears flows like a river, yet with you everything feels so happy and new.

We don’t normally get along, I don’t share much about myself, don’t know how to express myself, never been good to you and still here you are making me feel so alive.

How I wish you were there when things don’t go my way. Having you makes me feel like I can do everything, however, I don’t want you to see the saddest part of my life where I feel so alone and helpless. I don’t want you to know how useless I was and unable to help myself, unlike now I guess it’s a little better.

Know that you are my precious gift that I want to treasure most, but I’m scared I don’t know how long will I be able to keep you with me.

Please know that I am eternally grateful because He sent you to me. If I can spend the rest of my life with you in sickness and in health till death do us part, I will do it however, I am so tired. I don’t know how long will I be able to handle everything.

People would say I have a weak heart and with this kind of outlook I will not be able to survive, then so be it.

Did you remember when you said “I am unlucky to have you”?. It may be a joke for you, but thinking it now maybe you were right.

I am sorry you get to know someone like me who don’t even know what to do with her life. If I can turn back the time and knew about all these things, I will avoid you at all cost and save you from me.

Did you know that I am scared if one day you’ll happen to read all these things by accident. I have written quite a lot of my thoughts and I’m terrified that you won’t be able to understand and judge my thoughts.

Instead of writing all of these I want to share it with you, but I don’t want to give you bad emotions and ruin your day because of my thoughts. I know that you are always busy and have your own life too, that’s why I choose to write it instead.

I mostly have these thoughts when I’m alone, everything is so quite and it’s dawn. I work at night remember and my thoughts wander every time.

I have this endless headache yet when I see you it just disappear. Everything feels so easy and I can breath.

I am truly happy to have you and I love you a lot.