Saddle Up Cowpokes, You’re About To Be Parents

My daughter is going to have a baby. She and her husband, I’m sure, think they know what being a parent is like. I mean, they spent their whole lives watching their respective parents do it. I’m also pretty sure they’ve got a list of things that they’re not going to do. I know I did. Then again, I thought I’d be at the gym getting back into shape two weeks after my first child was born. Yeah, no. That’s not how it happened.

There are two important things people need to know about when they become parents. Not the how to parts. Although I will offer a small piece of advice on that. When you have to dish out some punishment, and you will, make sure you are not also going to suffer along with the little shit. Example- don’t ground your kid for the weekend if it’s going to be beautiful out because guess who else gets stuck at home, the prison guard, aka mom or dad or both. Pick a punishment that makes life easier for you. In my case it would be cleaning. I learned that after suffering through one too many punishments. Grounding is a winter punishment!

You will lose your identity. Remember that fun person you used to be? The one who was a bit of a rebel? Spontaneous? A little bit Rock n Roll? You will wake up one day and realize that those parts are all gone. You will suddenly find that you are now someones Mom or Dad. You will be the maker of rules, not the breaker of them. You are the meal maker. You are the personal shopper. You are the fixer of all things they are going through. It’s not that the previous you no longer exists. We just lose sight of it. We see ourselves by what is reflected back at us from the world around us. The good news is that the moment your kids leave the nest, you get your “you” back.

You are not in control. You are not. You might think that if you read the right parenting book and do the right things, your child will be perfect. Or at least good. Or smart. Or athletic. Whatever you might have on your list of expectations. Sorry, but your kid comes as is. Nature not nurture. So, if your kid was meant to be a genius like Einstein, she will be, even if you never read one book to her. I know because my daughter is a rebel and not always in a good way. She grew up in the same house as her sister. Same rules. Same good and bad parenting mix. Two different kids.Her sister knows how to handle money. She never learned that from us. To a great extent they are who they are upon arrival. That doesn’t mean you let them run wild. It means you should relax, don’t beat yourself up and just love them for who they are, even or especially when they aren’t who you expected.

You can take all this or leave it, just make damn sure you know how to cut up grapes and hotdogs so they won’t accidentally choke on them!.