Expectations vs Reality
Safe to say, I’m pretty confident in the decisions that have brought me here to Bali. The freedom in having no job or real plan for once in my life is both terrifying and fulfilling.
This was the dream right? Travelling, being surrounded by awesome people, having the space to do whatever and create and find my passions.
But I knew that this was never going to be enough to affect the change I was really seeking. A change in scenery or circumstance — while welcome and definitely gorgeous — was not enough to address the deep-rooted needs that needed to be addressed.
Nor was this just about these first three months. The Nomad MBA has offered an incredible springboard; a kick up the ass (if I may) to get out here and truly reconnect with myself and where I wanted to go.
Quitting my job, booking the one-way ticket — these are already huge steps for me in validating what I always knew was what I wanted.
But what does this mean at the end? Will this end up just being a sabbatical from ‘reality’? Will I immediately fall into old habits the moment I’m home? What’s the real point on doing this, on challenging myself and giving it all up to #findmyself if you never really do?
The next step is now up to me.
Pure enlightenment isn’t going to happen overnight. It may not happen in the next three months or even six. I’m scared to put any expectation on where I hope to be at the end of this adventure — that will only brew disappointment or judgement. Instead, I am setting intentions, commitments to how I will continue through this trip.
I want to surrender to where this opportunity may take me. It may guide me back to agency life with a refreshed determination to commit myself to that life. It may guide me towards a fully digital nomadic life. Trying to think of the end game before we’re even a month in will only drive me crazy and will not allow me to accept what is happening right here and now. So I will be open to all opportunities.
This means saying yes. Yes to the bike ride, to the surfing lesson and whatever challenge comes my way. Do what you want and even the things that scare you a little.
2. I intend to be mindful.
These days can easily pass me by. I can so easily breeze through these countries, enjoying the new experiences and moving on to the next. I’ve been inspired by the daily introspection and meditation that my fellow tribe members have found that allow for greater clarity and presence in life. I don’t want life to just pass me by; or to ever forget how fortunate I am to have this experience, for all that it is offering me.
This means writing, both here and for myself. To remember daily to take a moment and introspect and recognise what I am doing and how it is making me feel.
3. I intend to be purposeful.
Ultimately, I know the needs from this trip. I wanted to redefine my purpose and passion, I wanted to take a little self-care and finally give myself a break. I wanted to find a peace in whatever life was about to throw at me next. I don’t want to lose sight of that. I don’t want to forget that this is what I can find.
This means…well you’ll just have to watch this space.
Originally published at anytiffng.wordpress.com on September 28, 2017.
