Say ‘I Love You’ the Wrong Way and I’ll Kill You
“ ‘Hello, good to see you.’
This sentence can be said with the energy of anger, sweetness, sexiness, hatefulness, or coyness.
You can speak with any energetic quality, pervading the concert hall of your experience. The bodies in this hall — yours and others’ — are resonated by the energy you offer.
Choose the energy of your speech like a musician selecting a song from his or her repertoire, for the sake of opening the audience.” — David Deida, Instant Enlightenment
Someone says something you know is wrong, and you perk up.
He or she might even be a friend. A smart friend. You want them to know they’re wrong, so you can be on the same page.
Well, actually …
And you’ve lost them.
Nobody wants to be told they were wrong.
If you know you’re right and someone else is wrong, that means you were once in that person’s shoes. You weren’t born knowing what you know. When you open a sentence with well, actually … you’re giving off superiority vibes. I know more than you. No, you’re just slightly ahead on the curve of life experience on this one minuscule topic in an infinite universe.
If you can shift from well, actually, to pure, open-minded curiosity … why do you think that?… leaving open the possibility of being wrong … well, then, if you’re right, you’ll arrive on the same page. And if you’re wrong, you’ll arrive on the same page. More importantly, you’ll both arrive at the truth by yourselves, on your own terms.
Sometimes good intentions aren’t enough. Gentle arguing might come from a good place, but it doesn’t work. If you talk from a pedestal, you’re lecturing, not communicating. Realize you’re on the same footing as everyone, and arrive at the truth together.