Dealing with Anxiety

Something I didn’t foresee when I made my somewhat abrupt decision to pack up and go was all the anxiety I would be dealing with. It’s a big step and in some ways I don’t want to do it but I also realize it’s inevitability. I don’t feel like I ever had much of a choice in this. It was almost as if the universe said you must go on this trip and I will remove all obstacles to this journey, and I find myself struggling to come up with a good reason not to go.

Part of my inspiration for this trip came from seeing some of my past colleagues do the same trip but only across the US. And the venerable Mark Manson often refers back to his wandering around the world in his numerous blog posts, starting with the one on why you should travel the world.

I’m not sure where this desire or need to see the world comes from. I didn’t have a sheltered life like most Americans. I grew up in Bosnia and I’ve visited or lived in Omaha, Boston, Madrid, Berlin, Munich, London and various coastal cities along the Adriatic. So I’ve seen the world at its best and its worst.

This trip is a little different for me. I’m not necessarily looking to compare my life to that of starving children and randomly adopt the ones I take pity on. We have Angelina Jolie for that. Compared to most of the planet my life is pretty awesome, I won’t deny that. I guess what I’m looking for is to rediscover my internal passions whether it’s cooking, art, history and design. Use those to enrich myself. And maybe through all the lonely nights and suffering and with the help of some meditation I can better understand how to take the edge off and approach life with a greater ease.

Ultimately I want to gain a permanent set of skills I can take with me so I can be a better person, a better friend, a better designer and a better partner.

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