GSB — The Least (Conventionally) Ambitious I’ve Ever Been
As I get ready to leave the GSB, I realize I’ve done little to progress my career. My LinkedIn “before and after” is the same picture. No leadership positions, academic accolades, or interesting pivots. The whole first year, I felt like being at the GSB was the least ambitious I had ever been.
I had curated my entire life to get the shiniest resume — get into a prestigious college, aim for that consulting job, and work at brand-name companies. Eventually, I made it to the GSB.
When I got here, I felt stagnant — I didn’t want to keep reaching towards these markers of professional ambition and success. As classmates pitched startup ideas, networked for VC internships, and attended BBLs (and BPLs) left and right, I couldn’t help but think I was doing the GSB wrong. This came with a lot of pressure and guilt.
Looking back, I was so preoccupied with professional growth that I didn’t see the personal growth that was happening. While unexpected, it’s the personal growth that has been the most rewarding part of my GSB experience.
The (perceived) GSB playbook
Although we claim to understand that every experience is unique, the reality is there are a lot of preconceived notions of what the GSB and MBA experience should look like. We’d be lying if we said there wasn’t herd mentality when it comes to both our professional and social lives.
We often focus on professional achievements and ambitions. That makes sense — we are in business school. Sometimes, however, we can lose sight of what we actually want, especially if what we want isn’t the most visible and “off-the-shelf” at the GSB.
There isn’t one playbook to follow, but some have more templates already built. It’s OK if that wasn’t the right playbook for me, but I had to spend more time figuring out how to create the experience I wanted. It took a lot more intentionality, thought, and reflection than anticipated.
Drafting my playbook
Not going to lie, this was all catalyzed by my general existential state of being. My MBA1 year was over and it was nothing like what I had hoped for. This made me wonder what I needed to do to build the business school experience that I wanted, rather than just taking what was in reach.
I asked myself “what experiences do I want to have during these 2 years? How can I do that?”.
Some questions that I grappled with:
These questions gave me more clarity. The answers might be career-focused for some, but turns out that wasn’t the case for me. It helped me decide what mattered to me and how I could build a GSB playbook that matched what I wanted for myself.
What did my GSB experience look like?
While there’s less I can say about professional achievements, I saw significant areas of personal growth.
- Understanding creativity in my life
Before: I’ve always loved art and design growing up — however, I never saw it as part of my career. As a business person, I felt like an imposter that wasn’t good enough. Art was simply a hobby, and I had no right to say it’s an important part of who I am.
At the GSB:
- Design the GSB show logo: leave a (small) legacy at the GSB
- Draw and print cards for friends: use art as a way to share a part of myself and build connections with people around me
- Join Archuckle improv: embrace my inner-chaotic nature and be unabashedly myself with a group of friends (where professionalism doesn’t matter at all)
Now: art and creativity are critical parts of my life — it gives me a lot of joy to bring designs to life and share my art with the world. I haven’t fully figured out how to merge this into my career, but I have more conviction that keeping this part of myself alive is core for me.
2. Building my relationship with my body
Before: I always grappled with body image issues. I never felt good enough, and often held myself back from trying things because I didn’t believe in myself.
At the GSB:
- Start exercising more consistently & work with a trainer: solidify habits that I could take with me beyond the GSB. Change my mentality to see fitness as something enjoyable (rather than dreadful)
- Climb Half Dome & backpack the W-Trek in Patagonia: have experiences I never thought I’d be capable of — it was an absolute joy to push myself and realize I could do it (albeit at times painful)
Now: I learned how to build a connection with my body, better take care my mental and physical health, and treat myself with more kindness — all things that I had been truly abysmal at doing before.
3. Doing things that scared me
Before: my parents always told me to triple check everything, don’t upset anyone, and minimize risks. Over the years, this led me to having a limited mindset where I didn’t do things out of fear. I realized this was holding me back in how I approached the world.
At the GSB:
- Dance in the GSB show: I have no clue how to dance… thankfully I more or less remembered the choreography
- Get scuba certified: purely to try something that terrified me. I don’t like open waters, and sea creatures are kind of weird to me
- Write a nondisclosure article: here we are…
Now: I started looking for experiences that scared me and forced myself to try (instead of hide). I challenged myself to expand my experiences and see that I can make things happen if I worked towards them — it broadened the possibilities in my life.
Recognizing and embracing my GSB experience
Because I didn’t focus on professional ambitions, I worried I let these two years of business school pass by with nothing to show for it. We readily applaud the professional growth we see at the GSB — founding a startup, launching your own fund, pivoting career paths.
It took me a long time to recognize and celebrate the personal growth — things like going on unforgettable hikes, building deep relationships, and finally feeling comfortable with who I am. There’s more to us than our careers, yet we sometimes forget to see what we’ve accomplished on a personal level. For me, this was more important than my professional achievements.
It’s easy to get caught up with everything happening around us, both at the GSB and in life. Take the time to think about what you want to aim towards. How do you want to spend your time and energy? What is the playbook you want to build for yourself?
As you do that, remember that there are a lot of ways to be ambitious.
Editor: Soa Andrian
