Can I be replaced?

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

I have been in a poly relationship for six months now and just recently, my boyfriend started having two other serious relationships. Before that, he just had flings.

And I feel so threatened by these other women. I know my bf loves me and he cares a lot about me but it’s been difficult to do my own things when I know he is with one of his other girlfriends.

I KNOW they can’t replace me but I feel threatened anyway. How can I feel less threatened ? I know it has to do with a poor sense of self. But I’m already working on it with a therapist. What else could I do ?

I also feel a bit jealous of him. He has other meaningful relationships and I don’t and it’s been hard on me. I remember how hard it was before we started dating, how lonely I felt. And, even if it is not to the same degree, I still feel lonely sometimes when he’s not with me.

It’s like I need to have other relationships. But it’s been hard putting myself out there and finding someone I actually like. Moreover, I don’t want flings.

I’m sorry, it’s kind of a rant more than a question per se.

This column has been moved to the Non-Monogamy Help website.