Setting boundaries with metamours

I am in a stable, long-term non-monogamous relationship with a man I deeply love. We do not cohabit (I have a deep need for my own space) but we live close to each other and we are in and out of each other’s houses with no forewarning or announcements needed.

Lately my man has taken up with a Very Young Thing. She is awkward, silent, non-communicative, and unwilling to acknowledge my existence as his paramour, even as she readily accepts my friendship and craves interaction with me as an equal. I am just dumbfounded about how to deal with this.

This column has been moved to the Non-Monogamy Help website.