When your partner isn’t satisfied

Photo by Theme Inn on Unsplash

CW: This week’s column discusses mentions of weight loss.

Iv been with my boyfriend for nearly five years now and over the last year Iv put on some weight, iv always been a little chunky but now it’s become a real issue for him. He says he no longer finds me attractive and describes our intimacy as ‘vanilla’.

He’s now bought to light that he’s curious about sleeping with other people but doesnt want to leave me, he’s added that he has always been interested in this lifestyle change but because I’v always been a jealous girlfriend he’s never shared that.

I can not pull myself away from this anxiety of the entire situation.

If he’s willing to sleep with other woman what’s stopping him from starting a new relationship with another woman?

Now knowing I’m vanilla, I feel far more inadequate. He’s asked if we could do things together with other people but I dont think I would be able to control my jealousy.

How do I separate sex and our relationship?

How do I contain my jealousy and appreciate that he doesn’t want to have a relationship with anyone else(yet)?

I’m really struggling not to take this all to heart

Any advice or experience would be hugely appreciated, thank you.

This column has been moved to the Non-Monogamy Help website.