Week 2 Recap

Week 2 is in the books! This week was dominated by Richman’s squad — completely eviscerating me 150–100. However, he did receive a major setback in the injury to Greg Olsen. Also, from the looks of it, his team will rise and fall with the play of Tom Brady. In week 1, with Brady struggling, Richman put up 88 points. With an enraged Tom Brady, playing with the phallic veracity of a middle school boy rocking a raging boner in math class, Rich put up the highest point total of the week.

Two weeks in, we only have three teams left undefeated: BigMaggs, StoneBoy and Donaldinho. StoneBoy picks up right where he left off last season — Even though his team has scored the 2nd LEAST amount of points so far this year, he is undefeated.

If anyone recalls, despite scoring 200 points LESS than each other playoff team thoughout the season last year, his team came through in the clutch and won the league.

This sort of feels like when you are standing in line to purchase chicken tenders from a cute shorty at Yankee stadium and you notice she gives a free hotdog to the guy in front of you. Then, when you get to the front of the line, she overcharges your credit card and you need to spend 2 hours on a call with Bank of America to get a refund. When the refund comes, you see that instead of the price for Chicken Tenders, they refunded you the price of a hotdog. Will luck be on StoneBoy’s side again? Time will tell.

Speaking of hot dogs, look at MrLatini, who snagged Trevor Siemian off the waiver wire before he dropped 4 TDs on the Cowboys. Adding Cohen and Siemian early from the waiver wire could pay dividends as the season goes on. Do we have a star in the making?

The best matchup of the week belonged to DreDay and DanTheMan. They battled it out, scoring over a combined 280+ points. DreDay ended up pulling out the win with by a 5 point margin (146–141). Digging further into this, we see a dominant performance by the TB defense, scoring 19 points, pushing DreDay over the top — even Rodgers and Montgomery having big games wasn’t enough.

The fuckboi of the week award goes to DanTheMan for leaving 74 points on his bench. This is sort of like walking into a drive-in movie and not realizing that everyone else is in their car. You go and find a nice spot on the lawn, sit down and begin to watch the movie.

As the sun sets and it begins to get dark, you are having the time of your life — looking up at the stars while watching Meg Ryan strut her stuff all over the big screen brings you to a happy place filled with pure bliss.

Then, you hear a rumble. You turn around, and headed to your little piece of heaven at the drive-in movies is a lifted truck with two large, steel testicles dangling from the rear bumper.

But because it’s dark, and because he doesn’t expect some stupid fuckwad to be laying down in the road, he runs your ass over, teabagging you as he drives away. You spend the rest of your life paralyzed. It fuckin sucks man.

Well, with that said — good luck week 3. Do something cool or stupid to get in next week’s writeup. Because you know what they say, when you are walking down a carpeted hallway and you see a staple sticking out of the ground, pick it up and use it as a toothpick.